


Between the shadow and the soul

by forever_falln



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Kink Negotiation, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, feelings of guilt and shame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-03-27 15:02:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13883343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forever_falln/pseuds/forever_falln
Summary: A sub has never been drafted first overall.A sub has never captained an NHL team.Subs are barely even tolerated in the league.It's not a surprise really that hockey players are mostly doms; it's a dominant sort of sport. Lots of unrefined violent men trying to hurt each other. As soon as Auston figured out he was going to make it for real he knew it was going to be a problem.Because Auston Matthews is a submissive and he’s going to go first overall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda. 
> 
> Standard warnings apply - this is a work of fiction borrowing from real life. I don't own anything.
> 
> I won't follow the fixtures/results of the actual season but this roughly takes place during Auston and Mitch's rookie season. 
> 
> Please comment and let me know if you like this as I've got a pretty good idea of where I'm taking this but I would love to know what you guys think and whether you want to see more.
> 
> Spoilery type warnings at the end if you want to skip to. Nothing too bad I don't think. If there's anything else please also let me know. This is my first foray into this subject matter so I want to make sure I treat it authentically and sensitively.

A sub has never been drafted first overall.  
A sub has never captained an NHL team.  
Subs are barely even tolerated in the league.

It's not a surprise really that hockey players are mostly doms; it's a dominant sort of sport. Lots of unrefined violent men trying to hurt each other. As soon as Auston figured out he was going to make it for real he knew it was going to be a problem.

Because Auston Matthews is a submissive and he’s going to go first overall.

He signed for the ZSC Lions in August a month before his 18th birthday. They didn't require a declaration of dynamic. No one in Europe seemed to care about it at all. So Auston had a year of professional hockey under his belt before he even had to get tested. Just like in his interviews Auston had prepared and knew what he had to say. And his results came through just as expected along with the rest of his medical tests. Auston Matthews: dominant. And he was drafted first overall with assurances from the Maple Leafs that they considered him captain material.

He met Mitch for the first time that summer to train. Mo was there too but he noticed Mitch most. He knew more about Mitch Marner then he’d ever admit. He was the highest drafted submissive in 20 years. He had played the last year captaining his OHL team winning the memorial cup. He was small for a hockey player but he was quick and had great hands. He wasn't really what Auston thought of as a submissive. He wasn't exactly shy and retiring or deferring to Auston and Mo. He was loud and friendly, constantly putting himself into Auston’s space. He had volunteered to chauffeur Auston around as soon as he’d mentioned getting lost on the way to the practice rink. That was more what he expected.

Everything was fine. He was a sub playing in the NHL and he was killing it. Everyone saw his size and his demeanour and assumed he was a dominant just like his tests said. Auston had everything under control. Right up until he didn't.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Auston woke up to an unsettled feeling creeping through his gut. He turns off his alarm rolls himself out of bed. Dragging a hand across his face he jabs at the coffee machine trying to force it into life. Nothing works. Auston couldn't help the growl that escapes his throat. Mitch knew how to work the machine. A fog settles around his mind as he sulkily pours a bowl of cereal for himself. He manages to get himself dressed by the time Mitch texts to say he’d arrived.

“Morning!”

Auston grunts in reply yanking at his belt and glaring at the happy pop music blasting from Mitch’s phone.

“Coffee?”

Auston snatches the Timmie’s cup from Mitch’s hand and practically inhales his first gulp.

“Alright Mr Grumpypants, you awake now?”  
“Maybe.”

Mitch laughs brightly and something settles in Auston’s stomach. The fog begins to recede with the coffee and Mitch's admittedly pitchy singing.

Practice was good and Auston was fine. Everything was fine. He was maybe a bit more antsy than normal like there was something in the back of his mind that was off and his normal routine just wasn't quite working. He doesn't sleep well during his pre-game nap and that is always a bad sign. He is a good sleeper. He's a pro. But nothing works. He tosses and turns and then just gives up and stares at the ceiling until his alarm rings. Everything is off. He can't find his favourite game day suit. He spills his coffee down his shirt. He doesn't even notice he has completely mis-matched shoes on. They are stuck behind a traffic accident on the 401 and are almost late. Mitch seems to pick up on Auston's shaky mood and was quiet in the car.

Auston sits in the locker room his leg shaking nervously as he taped his stick. It's almost like precognition this feeling in the pit of his stomach that something is wrong. He’s never felt like this before. Hockey is always in his control. The game is a shitshow from start to finish. They ship three goals inside the first period and everything Auston does turns to shit. The puck bounces over his stick, the hits land hard, the shots skid wide and high. The more he tries the more he fails. He doesn't know what to do. His teammates clap him on the back and tell him not to worry. But he can't get rid of the feeling. By the end of the third period it only gets worse. Auston finishes the night on a minus 3 and he just wants to go home and curl up in bed. He should feel angry as he strips his pads off and has only a cursory shower to remove the worst of the sweat and grime. But he doesn't feel angry he just feels the fog return.

He waits in his stall whilst Mitch speaks to the media dropping his head between his knees. He just tries to focus on his breathing, in and out, slowing down his heart rate. But nothing shifts the emptiness in the pit of his stomach and the ache in his chest. He's never felt like this after a game. He's had bad games before, everyone has, but nothing compares to this. And he's scared. Scared about what this means.

“You ready to go Matts?”

Auston lifts his head slowly searching out Mitch's voice from across the locker room and nodding. He feels like he's moving through syrup as he stands to follow Mitch silently. He can't even open the car door and has to wait for Mitch to realise he's not in the car and open the door for him. He lets his head loll back against the headrest and drifts completely out of focus letting Mitch's chatter sooth him. Auston must nod off because the next thing he knows he's being manhandled by Mitch to get out of the car.

“Noooo. Don't want to move.” Auston whines.

Mitch huffs out a laugh as he pulls Auston's torso out the car supporting him under the arms. Auston tries to curl into Mitch letting his legs slip out of the car and dropping his full weight onto him. Mitch tightens his arms around Auston's middle and drags him into an upright position.

“Matts, I need you to stand up for me. I can't carry you upstairs. Please.”

Auston manages to stand up and puffs out his chest. He wobbles slightly as he follows Mitch into the building and into the elevator where he collapses into Mitch's side again. Mitch takes his hand and pulls him from the elevator into the corridor stopping outside his door. Auston stands behind Mitch and feels himself wavering. He pitches forward and leans his head against the back of Mitch's neck nuzzling into the warm bare skin between his collar and his hair. Mitch huffs out another laugh before finally unlocking the door and moving them into the apartment.

Mitch leads him to the couch. Auston stands silently in front of Mitch who is just examining him. He wraps a hand around the back of Auston's neck and tightens his grip. Auston's eyes flutter closed and he can't suppress the whine he releases.

“I got you Matts. Trust me.”

Mitch pulls a pillow down onto the floor in front of the couch. He pulls Auston forwards and arranges him on his knees in between Mitch's spread thighs. On instinct Auston tucks his cheek against Mitch's thigh and sighs in relief. He surrenders himself to the fog.

The first thing Auston becomes aware of is an ache in his knees as he opens his eyes with his face still pressed against Mitch's thigh. He no longer feels that ache in his chest or the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. The fog has gone completely. He smiles and nuzzles against Mitch's pant leg inhaling deeply.

But... shit. Mitch knows. No. This can't be happening.

He feels the panic start to rise as he realises Mitch knows. Mitch must know that he's a sub. He's on his knees for Mitch fucking Marner. He tenses all over and he feels Mitch shift on the couch.

“Matts?”

Auston doesn't move. He can't do this.

“We should talk about this.”

Auston pushes himself backwards pressing himself against the wall. He covers his face with his hands.

“No.”  
“Matts. It's okay, we just...”  
“NO! I need to go.”

Auston jumps to his feet and makes for the door.

“Wait, Matts!”

Mitch shoves his hand against the door just as Auston reaches it and holds it closed. Auston doesn't turn around his whole body tense, shaking with fear and shame.

“Don't do this Mitch. I can't...”

Auston can't help the break in his voice. Mitch seems to take pity on him and moves back. Just as Auston has the door open Mitch is back.

“Here, you need to drink this and eat something. You shouldn't leave after this. I need to take care of you. But I understand if you feel you have to. Call me if you need anything okay. It's okay. It's going to be okay.”

Mitch thrusts a bag at him. Auston takes it and runs slamming the door behind him. He grabs the bottle of gatorade and chugs it back. He takes out his phone and books an uber to pick him up. He can do this. He can just ignore Mitch and no one else ever has to know.

Everything is going to be fine.

Except Mitch Marner knows that Auston Matthews is a sub. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SPOILER*
> 
> Warning - brief kneeling scene happens where one character goes into sub space and has no idea what is going on. Nothing sexual happens so I don't feel that consent is really an issue but want to provide the warning just in case this bothers anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see the tag 'internalised homophobia' quite a lot and I feel like this is similar to Auston's feeling about being a sub. A fair amount of angst is in here. I guess internalised sub shame? Just know that this is his internal monologue and does not describe either reality or my opinions. It will get better. 
> 
> As always a writer loves to know what you think *cough cough* *nudge nudge*

Mitch knows. Mitch knows. Mitch knows.

 

Fuck.

 

Auston sits on his kitchen floor knees to his chest rocking himself forwards and backwards. He can feel the tears making tracks down his cheeks but he doesn't reach to wipe them away. This is his worst nightmare. He didn't even make it a full season before someone found out. This can't be happening. He's so _fucking_ stupid.

 

His breaths are shallow. Rasping.

 

He feels an ache in his stomach.

 

His hands are somehow cold but clammy at the same time.

 

He can't _do_ this.

 

He has no idea what to do.

 

What _can_ he do?

 

He needs to talk to someone.

 

Mitch.

 

Fuck, he can't talk to _Mitch_ about this. He chucks his phone to the floor in disgust running his hands through his hair. He can't stop shaking. How could he let this happen? How could he be so fucking _stupid_. He's every sub stereotype out there; unable to control himself without someone to put him on his knees. That's why they said subs shouldn't play hockey. And they were right. What if it hadn't been Mitch? He was so out of it he could've let some random dom beat the shit out of him and he would've just begged for more. Something instinctual tells him this isn't right. This isn't how it's supposed to go.

 

He needs to talk to someone. Clearly he can't be trusted to do this alone. But who can he talk to? He wants his mum. But she doesn't know either. And he really can't face talking about this kind of thing with his _mother_. How is he supposed to tell his mother he needs someone to tie him up and hit him not just to get off but even to play fucking hockey? He needs to talk to someone who would understand. Another sub. But Mitch is the only sub he knows and he can't talk to Mitch about this.

 

Auston picks his phone back up and begins to scroll through his contacts. There must be someone he knows. Someone who would understand. He knows when he sees the name. His hands shake as the dialing begins. Auston puts it on speaker and rests it on his knees.

 

“Auston?”

“Seegs?”

 

Auston can hear the pathetic whine to his voice but he can't do anything to change it.

 

“You okay, kiddo? I haven't heard from you since the draft.”

“I needed... shit, I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry Matt.”

“Auston, what's wrong?”

“I shouldn't have disturbed you, forget I called.”

“Wait!”

 

Auston pauses.

 

“What's wrong Auston?”

“I just needed to speak to someone who might understand.”

“Is this a dynamic thing? I know things are a bit, uh, fucked up in North America.”

“Yeah.”

 

Auston lets out a watery laugh.

 

“So I assume you're calling me because I'm a submissive. Has something happened?”

“You could say that.”

“Tell me.”

“It was just a shitty game and I got all shaky and out of it and one of the guys like took me back to his place and...”

“Please tell me he didn't do anything Aus...”

“No, fuck, nothing happened! Well I think I kneeled for him but I was pretty out of it. He wouldn't do anything creepy. He's my friend. I felt better but now I feel just tired and sad and confused, I don't know, just wrong.”

“Didn't he stay with you? Care for you? Fucking, stupid doms man, you shouldn't have to deal with that shit.”  
“No, it wasn't him. I just ran away.”

“Why would you do that Aus? It sounds pretty intense. I've never seen anyone go down just from a game before.”

“I, uh, what do you mean go down?”

 

The silence on the other end of the line was telling. Auston could hear sheets rustling and a door clicking closed.

 

“Auston, have you ever subbed for someone before?”

“No.”

“Don't they offer to arrange a professional dom for you? Or like a teammate at least?”

“They do if you're a registered submissive.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“You need to look after yourself kid.”

“No one can know. They treat subs differently here. I d-don't even know how to talk about it. Fuck, I don't know anything. I'm so fucking stupid.”

“Okay, so I'm a submissive and that means I have certain needs that vanilla sex just can't give me. If, for example, I would ignore those needs it might result in me going into sub space from say, a particularly intense game or injury maybe instead of when I want to from like play or a scene. If I still didn't do anything I might pass out and it would be like a really bad flu or something. But it can also have bad effects on my mental state. Like they do research on this stuff and it can get pretty bad. Also if I was involved in a scene it's really important that my dom provides me with aftercare. Without that I could experience what's called 'sub drop' which can affect me physically and emotionally. I might feel depressed. I might get aches and pains. It's really important that I look after myself so that I can be there for my team and play my best hockey.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah kid, it sounds like you've dropped.”

“What can I do?”

“Do you have a bath? If not, have a hot shower. Eat something sugary. Do something you enjoy doing. Play video games?”

“Okay.”

“And Auston?”

“Yeah?”

“You are going to have to do something about this. I know it might feel like that is impossible but it's not. It's not your fault.”

“I don't want to be like this.”

 

Matthias chuckled at that.

 

“Would you believe me if I said it can be really good though?”

“I don't know.”

“Call if you need anything okay?”

“Thanks Seegs.”

 

Auston hangs up. Someone else knows. Someone else knows he's a sub. He _told_ someone. He just... But if anyone would understand it would be Matthias Seger. His old captain from ZSC. He'd known at the time that Seegs was a submissive. But no one really cared in Europe. It wasn't one of the first things people knew about you. It wasn't controversial. It wasn't questioned whether subs should even be allowed to play. Some people were just subs. Auston had met Matthias' dom (and wife) and she'd seemed perfectly normal. Not overbearing or aggressive. Not violent or temperamental. Just normal.

 

Auston pulls himself up to his feet and stumbles towards his bathroom. He strips and climbs into the shower turning the heat up until it scorches his skin red. He lets the water wash down his back closing his eyes and imagining his problems running away with it.

 

Eventually the heat begins to leave the water and Auston shuts it off climbing out and wrapping a towel around his waist.

 

Now he's out of the shower he can hear an incessant banging on the door. He freezes.

 

It has to be Mitch.

 

Auston grabs his phone from the counter. His lock screen is jammed full of missed calls and texts from Mitch get gradually more and more worried. Auston sighs. He isn't going to be able to avoid this confrontation. He really doesn't want to have to talk about it. He's already exhausted from talking to Matthias and he just doesn't want to have to face up to the reality of Mitch knowing. Mitch knowing makes it real. Not something he can just ignore and hope goes away. Although from what Matthias said it sounds like that was never an option. Like it or not, this is how Auston is built, and he's damn well going to have to figure out a way to deal with it and continue playing hockey. People can't know. The public. Other teams. His family.

 

But maybe Marns knowing will be okay.

  
If anyone can understand it would be him.

 

Auston grabs a pair of sweats and a hoodie from his bedroom. He figures Mitch isn't going anywhere soon so he might as well take the time to be dressed when he answers the door.

 

Auston opens the door to find Mitch looking remarkably harried. His hair is sticking up in tufts on his head and he's not wearing any shoes.

 

Mitch pushes his way passed Auston and into the apartment. Auston closes the door and takes a few deep breaths before turning round to face Mitch who is currently pacing back and forth.

 

“You alright man?”

 

Auston is going for chill. He's not sure if it quite comes off as Mitch stops his pacing and fixes him with an unreadable stare. Auston squirms.

 

“Can I get you anything?”

“Fuck that, Matts, are _you_ okay?”

 

Auston shrugs. He's not really sure. He doesn't feel as bad as before the shower. But he doesn't feel as _right_ as he did when he came to on his knees for Mitch.

 

“Sit down. I'm going to make you some cocoa. I brought food.”

 

Mitch hurries into the kitchen and busies himself trying to find whatever he needs. Auston finds himself moving towards the couch without much thought. He likes his couch. His mother helped him pick it out when he first moved to Toronto. A good bed and a good couch, she had said, were the most important things. She wasn't a stupid woman; she knew where he would be spending most of his time in the apartment. She hadn't suggested a lot of nice kitchen equipment. She knew his strengths and that was not one of them. He'd survived his first month on takeout before caving and asking Mitch what he did. Mitch had taken that as a cry for help and had invited himself over to cook for him. Mitch could _cook_. And he'd even learned to cook mexican food. He was good too. Not quite as good as Auston's mum but way better than any 19 year old hockey player from Thornhill, Ontario had any right to be.

 

“Here, take this, careful it's hot.”

 

Auston raised a brow at Mitch. He was fussing.

 

“I'm not a child Mitch.”

 

Mitch scowled as he retracted the blanket he was currently trying to tuck around Auston.

 

“So you don't want the blanket?”

 

Auston pauses. He wants to say no just to make a point.

 

“I want the blanket.”

 

Mitch smiles. It's a small one, not his full beam, but it's good nonetheless. Auston snuggles into the blanket wrapping his hands around the cocoa and bringing it up to his face to inhale its sweet aroma. He let his eyes flutter closed as he absorbs the complete comfort. He could sense Mitch sat stifffly at the other end of the sectional but he didn't really feel like encouraging him any closer. He knew Mitch. Any opportunity to cuddle would be seized upon.

 

“COD?”

 

It's an olive branch. Auston knows that. He doesn't have the energy to talk about it yet. He knows he has to eventually. But not now.

 

“COD.”

 

Mitch sets it up and hands Auston the controller. Auston is still as bad at this as usual but he can tell Mitch is going easy on him. They throw the chirps back and forth and it almost feels normal. It almost feels like yesterday back when Mitch didn't _know._

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ADJACENT NOTES AT THE END
> 
> Possible trigger warnings re obvious stuff in the tags so check it out before reading if you think it might be an issue

Auston wakes up to his alarm beeping incessantly. He's curled up on his couch with a pillow stuffed under his head and the blanket wrapped tightly around him. He doesn't remember falling asleep. He glances around blinking wearily but he's alone. Mitch must have tucked him in and left. Something drops in his stomach but he refuses to examine it. He's just hungry.

 

Auston showers quickly and throws on a nice pair of sweats and a sweater. He checks his phone to see a text from Mitch promising to pick him up at the usual time. He glances at the time and his phone buzzes again: Mitch is outside.

 

Auston breathes deeply. He can do this. He can face Mitch and not make things awkward. Easy.

 

Nothing about sitting in the car with Mitch is easy.

 

Auston feels like his skin is crawling. He can feel Mitch's eyes on him every time the car stops.

 

He grips his hands around the coffee cup Mitch had given him as soon as he'd got in the car. His knuckles are white and his knee is shaking. Auston tries inhaling the coffee fumes and closing his eyes. He groans internally – he can even _smell_ Mitch. He's wearing a new cologne. Auston can't _do_ this.

 

“We'll talk Mitch, just, can it be after practice?”

 

Mitch doesn't answer. Auston doesn't look over. He can't.

 

“Before the game?”

“Yeah, that's probably a bad idea.”

“After the game?”

“That's probably a bad idea too.”

“We're going on a roadie tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

 

They don't say anything after that. Mitch gets it at least. This is going to be a heavy conversation. It's going to be emotionally draining and he has no idea where it's going to end up. Mitch might not want to be his friend after this. It seems unlikely given all the signs so far but it is still a possibility. Every instinct in his body is screaming run. All his life he has worked to hide this part of himself and now he is preparing to bare everything to a guy he's known less than a year. It's wrong, wrong, _so_ wrong. He feels sick.

 

“It's going to be okay.”

 

He looks over at Mitch. He realises they have arrived at training. Mitch is still gripping the steering wheel but he is examining Auston closely. Mitch doesn't do serious. He should be smiling, laughing, giggling. Auston feels unsettled as he wriggles under Mitch's gaze.

 

“Whatever happens. It's going to be okay. I promise.”

 

Auston exhales heavily a breath he didn't realise he had been holding. It'll be okay. Mitch says it'll be okay. It'll be okay. He's okay.

 

Practice is good.

 

The game is good. They win.

 

Auston sleeps well that night. He is tired from the game but it is a good tired. A deep, bone weary, achy tired that is familiar. He feels settled and happy. He scored. Mitch scored. Everything is good.

 

Auston had not been looking forward to this West Coast roadie for ages. It was so long. They were playing Vancouver, LA, Anaheim and San Jose before going home. It was always going to be brutal.

 

Auston takes the window seat on the plane and settles down for the long haul. Mitch takes the seat next to him and wordlessly hands him a blanket and one of the earbuds attached to his iPad. Auston drifts off watching a shitty action film Mitch had stuck on likely for that exact purpose.

 

Auston doesn't talk to Mitch on the road trip. Well they talk but not _talk._ Mitch actually seems like himself which almost freaks Auston out more. Auston feels an intense anxiety clutching at his heart. He's a minute behind on all the jokes and chirps so he just doesn't join in. People interpret his silence for strength and focus and Auston doesn't correct them.

 

Hockey has always been Auston's refuge and now more than ever the control he feels on the ice calms him. Auston is playing well as well. Even if everything is falling apart off the ice he knows the moment he steps foot onto the ice he can block all of that out and light it up. And so he does.

 

They finish the road trip with three wins, one in OT, and a shoot-out loss. Auston has 2 game winners and 10 points including a hat trick against the Kings.

 

Unsurprisingly on the plane journey home people are in a celebratory mood. Someone has music on and people a milling around between the seats. Auston is sat by the window again and he can feel the adrenaline draining from his body. Mitch isn't there. He's the life and soul of the party. Likely singing, dancing (both badly) and snapchatting everyone he knows. So Auston is trying to sleep, alone, and not really succeeding. Maybe it's also the nerves of the impending 'talk' he is going to have with Mitch. Part of Auston feels like it will be a relief to get it over with whatever happens.

 

When they finally land it is past midnight and Auston just follows Mitch to his car in silence. They both know there will be no talking tonight but they have an off day tomorrow. Mitch doesn't take the exit for Auston's place and he doesn't care. It's easier for him to spend the night in Mitch's guest room and not have to drive over for 'the talk'. After all he'd probably just chicken out and hide.

 

Auston doesn't want to get up. He is snuggled under the comforter in Mitch's spare room fighting the light that filters under the curtains. He doesn't want to get up because getting up means facing Mitch. Facing Mitch means facing everything. He can hear Mitch pottering around the apartment. He is probably making breakfast. Auston's stomach starts grumbling in betrayal and he knows he is going to get up. He rolls out of bed and pulls on a pair of Maple-Leafs sweats and hoodie that are folded on the chair. Presumably the clothes are Mitch's judging by the way the sweats pull tight over his thighs and the hoodie hugs his shoulders. Indeed when he looks down he can see the small 16 printed on his chest and thigh. Auston knows he has drawer of his clothes in Mitch's closet. He doesn't know if Mitch is somehow making fun of him or he just wants to see him in his number. He's not sure which option he would prefer.

 

Auston wanders down the corridor towards the kitchen to see Mitch shirtless and making pancakes. Auston stills, leaning against the doorframe, crossing his arms and tilting his head. The radio is on and Mitch is humming along and shimmying his hips. He has built up a stack of pancakes on the plate next to the stove and seems to have reached the last of his batter. The kitchen island is crowded with cut up fruit, syrup, chocolate chips and yoghurt. Auston's stomach makes a more insistent grumble and Mitch whips round to face him slack jawed with a quickly rising blush in his cheeks. Auston raises an eyebrow and Mitch breaks into giggles.

 

“Pancakes?”

“Oh yeah dude, breakfast of champions. Sit. Coffee is almost ready.”

 

Auston moves into the kitchen and perches on a stool. Mitch brings the plate of pancakes over to the island. Auston reaches forwards and Mitch smacks his hand away.

 

“Not cool, bro.”

 

Auston clutches his hand to his chest and makes a wounded noise.

 

“You can wait for three seconds for me to get you a plate.”

 

Mitch returns with a plate and transfers a stack of pancakes onto it. Auston helps himself to the toppings and begins eating in silence. Mitch is happily scoffing down his pancakes too making satisfied groans as he goes. At least Auston will be reprieved until the end of breakfast.

 

The pancakes are gone too quickly and a serious expression descends on Mitch's face. Auston clutches his coffee mug and stares into the dark, bitter liquid.

 

“So... we need to talk about what happened.”

“It was nothing.”

 

It's a knee jerk reaction. It's worth a go to see if Mitch might buy it. They all know he's not the sharpest tool in the shed but he's always been able to read Auston better than anybody else in his life. So it's unlikely.

 

“It wasn't nothing. It was subspace.”

 

Auston freezes still unable to look Mitch in the eye. He doesn't want to agree. He's never said it out loud. He huffs.

 

“So we're doing this now? Okay, well, do you want to get dressed maybe?”

 

Auston would really rather put this conversation off as long as possible and also not having this conversation while Mitch was topless would be ideal.

 

“I'm fine.”

 

Auston snorts. Whatever. He'll cope. Power through. Get the job done.

 

“I'm not a dom.”

 

He doesn't look at Mitch still. He doesn't want to see his reaction. He can't. It's hard enough to get the words out. He breathes in deeply and holds it. When he doesn't continue Mitch gently prompts him.

 

“Are you a switch because I know that can be hard to deal with your levels with that.”

 

Auston releases his breath and looks up meeting Mitch's eyes. There is no judgement. There's no disgust. There is something there but whatever it is it's kind.

 

“No I'm not a switch.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

 

Auston dips his head again biting his bottom lip and blinking rapidly.

 

“But you're registered...”

“I lied.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“So like you're actually...”

 

Auston inhaled sharply. Here goes nothing.

 

“I'm a sub.”

“Wow.”

 

Auston wasn't expecting that. Mitch's eyes were wide, pupils blown and the corners of his mouth were twitching like he was trying to bite back a smile. Auston can't help a small smirk at the corner of his mouth and Mitch seems to take this as tacit permission to release The GrinTM.

 

“I don't understand. Why did you lie at your classification?”

 

Auston snorts.

 

“Are you kidding?”

“No. I want to know.”

“I wanted to go first Mitch. I want to be a captain one day. I wanted to be able to play without people questioning my abilities based on something so fucking irrelevant. A part of me that I don't even want or like.”

“Aus...”

“No, Mitch you don't understand. It's not a joke or a game this is my life.”

“Fuck you Auston. Out of everyone you don't think that _I'd_ understand? I got drafted 4 th overall in a seriously stacked draft and I captained my OHL team to a Mem Cup.”

“That's just juniors Mitch.”

“You don't know _shit_ about juniors anyway. You don't know what it's like to be a sub there. And you never would've had to know. I made the show didn't I? I'm right up there with you in the scoring race?”

“But you're not a sub are you Mitch? I knelt for you. You dommed me.”

 

Mitch is silent. His face is cold and shut off where it is normally open and warm. His eyes are like cold, icy open water.

 

“I was mis-classified.”

“You're a dom.”

 

Mitch nods.

 

“I was 16 when I was tested.” He shrugs “They got it wrong.”

“So all that shit about understanding was just bullshit then. You have no idea what I'm going through.”

“I don't know Aus, have you ever actually been treated like a sub? Have you ever been disciplined? Been punished?”

“No, of course I haven't, but you think I wouldn't be if people knew?”

“That shit doesn't happen in the NHL. At least not at the Maple Leafs. Trust me on that.”

“So why the hell do you keep pretending? Why don't you tell everyone? It's not like you're hiding a dirty little secret? You could just come clean and you'd get to be a dom and everyone would suddenly respect you more. I don't have that.”

 

Mitch goes quiet. He plays with his fingers leaning forwards against the island. They haven't moved from where they sat to eat breakfast the counter top between them like a barrier, a shield.

 

“I couldn't tell anyone at the time because I would have had to sue the league for re-classification. And you're not really supposed to classify someone until they're 18 so to test someone early and then do what they did it would have been really controversial. It would have affected the draft. I was already facing discrimination at the draft and I couldn't make it worse.”

“You went fourth Mitch. You weren't exactly a seventh rounder.”

“You have no idea. After Toronto my only interviews were the Wild, Canucks and Blackhawks. If I didn't get picked by Toronto I would have barely cracked the first round. I know I'm small but I'm a better player than that. I don't know why Toronto risked what they did to pick me but it was worth it.”

“So why not say anything now?”

“It would still be controversial and it doesn't really matter. No one on the team is making me do anything. I only have to prove myself on the ice. There's some shitty media but I just don't read it. I don't need their approval. My teammates don't think less of me. At least I didn't think they did.”

“So on the one hand you're asking why I hid it like it's fucking nothing to hide whilst also telling me how you faced discrimination at the draft for being a sub? That's exactly why I hid it. That's so fucking hypocritical.”

“It would have been different for you.”

“How the hell would it have been different?”

“You are _so_ much better Matts. Toronto never considered picking Laine. It was always going to be you sub or not. I guess you had a chance to change things. To be the first number one pick.”

 

Auston shakes his head running a hand through his hair.

 

“You don't know that. You can't know that.”

 

Mitch snorts.

 

“Even if you'd dropped, do you think any team in their right minds would've let you go to the Oilers? Can you imagine you and Davo on the same team? We might as well just give you the next ten cups.”

 

Auston is surprised at the sudden change of tone and can't help the bark of laughter he releases. Mitch smiles too, happy to have brought some relief.

 

“So guaranteed top three.”

“Still would've been the highest ever drafted sub.”

 

Auston shrugs. It doesn't really matter now what they did before and why. They were still where they were.

 

“So I take it you don't have an arrangement in place? Given the other night.”

 

Mitch's tone has softened. He looks worried now more than pissed off.

 

“No.”

“So how have you been coping?”

 

Auston shrugs.

 

“Fuck me, you haven't had anything? Wow.”  
“Why is that wow? I still fucking broke down and threw myself at you.”

“Auston you managed months with no outlet. That's some incredible strength and willpower.”  
“Still fucking broke though.”

“Shit Auston, you have needs. There's no shame in that.”

 

Auston just glares at Mitch. He doesn't have time for all that wishy washy dynamic positivity stuff.

 

“Whatever. But like it or not you are going to have to do something about it.”

“Like what?”

“An arrangement. You could kneel, for me, and no one would have to know.”

 

Auston pauses. He hadn't thought of that. It's a simple solution. Albeit a little on the embarrassing side for it to be Mitch. But... An arrangement where he doesn't risk dropping like before and no one would question it because they're friends. And if they did, everyone thinks he's a dom and Mitch is a sub. So worst case scenario people just think Mitch is subbing for him.

 

“You'd do that?”

“Are you kidding?”

“No.”

“Auston. My man. Bro. Any dom would bite off their right arm to dom a guy like you.”

 

Auston can't help the blush dipping his head and smiling softly. Hopefully Mitch doesn't notice. But when he looks up and catches Mitch's eyes and sees the softest expression ever he knows he failed.

 

“Okay.”

“Cool.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mitch alludes to sub-abuse that happened whilst he was in juniors. Nothing explicit is discussed. Really just a passing mention thrown out in argument.
> 
> Auston also doubles down on the sub-shame. So there's that.
> 
> There will be happy's eventually I promise.


	4. Chapter 4

Auston figures he probably should have talked to Mitch more about their arrangement. The consensus would probably be that Auston doesn't really know what he's doing. He never had the formal submissive education he would've had if he had formally been classified as a submissive. So now he has no idea about his _needs_ and how often he will have to take care of it. In truth he hasn't really thought about it much. It wouldn't need to be often surely. He'd lasted months, years even, without doing anything. So he really had thought he wouldn't have to face any of this for a couple of months at least. But no, as always, his biology betrays him and he wakes up on the morning after a tough loss feeling a familiar shakiness.                                                        

He closes his eyes hoping the feeling would dissipate if he could only relax and maybe sleep again. But the coiled feeling in his gut and the heaviness in his limbs does not leave and sleep is elusive. Auston stares at the ceiling. He knows what he has to do he just doesn't want to. It's humiliating.                                                                                                                                  

But equally they have a game tomorrow and Auston needs to be okay. If this is what he has to do to be able to play and play well then he will grit his teeth and do it. It's just hockey.        

Auston reaches for his phone. He already has a message from Marns just asking what he's up to today. He texts back straight away with a simple 'come over asap'. He hopes that gets the message across.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Auston breathes deeply for a few seconds before dragging himself out of the comfort of his bed. He finds a clean pair of sweats and a t shirt and dresses quickly. Wandering out to the kitchen he finds his fridge pathetically empty. He hopes he might be lucky and Mitch will bring something.                                                                                                                                             

He brings out the large floor cushion he bought especially and places it in front of the couch. He doesn't know if Mitch needs, or will want, to do anything but he figures Mitch can sort that out if he does. So Auston just sits down on the couch and waits. It shouldn't be long. Mitch is normally surgically attached to his phone on off days and the drive from his apartment to Auston's is maybe twenty minutes. Less if traffic is in their favour. So Auston just waits staring into the distance trying to fight the antsy feeling inside.                                                                               

As predicted he didn't have to wait long before Mitch is knocking at his door.                                                                                                                                                                       

Auston startles at the sudden noise. He had forgotten that he'd put Mitch on his acceptable visitors list for the doorman. He'd been expecting the minute it would take him to get to the apartment after Auston had buzzed him up to compose himself. But no such luck. With Mitch just outside the door Auston's resolve falters. He can feel the tension in his body intensify like firecrackers waiting to go off but something in his deepest subconscious is screaming danger, DANGER.                                                                                                                                     

He ignores it.  
  
He has to.  
  
"Hi."  
"Shit Matts, you look…"  
  
Whatever comment Mitch had for his appearance died on his lips hopefully in response to the sharp glare he was giving him. Auston pulled Mitch by the elbow into the apartment and slammed the door. Mitch had a bag with him and Auston baulked at the presumption as he placed it next to the couch.  
  
"What the hell is that, Mitch? What do you think this is?"  
  
Mitch looks between the bag and Auston's face which is surely a picture of fury and fear. He spreads his hands and just shrugs.  
  
"Supplies?"  
"What the fuck sort of supplies do you suppose you're going to need?"  
  
Mitch brightens at that like Auston was asking for a fucking show and not demanding an explanation.  
  
"It's for aftercare dude. I gotta be good about that Marty said."  
  
Auston feels his blood freeze.  
  
Time stops.  
  
No.  
  
No. No. No.  
  
He can't…  
  
Auston makes a noise best described as the demented offspring of a whine and a growl. Mitch flinches backwards and almost immediately starts shaking his head and moving towards Auston. Auston folds his arms across his chest and brings out a full blooded snarl. Mitch isn't perturbed by this though.  
  
"I didn't tell him about you, idiot. I would never do that. I mean we're friends Matty, why would you even think I would do something like that?"  
  
Mitch is wearing his patented wounded expression now something akin to a puppy dog. Auston usually felt a little like kicking him with that face on and only a little guilty for thinking it. Now though he just wants an explanation so he says nothing and just raises an eyebrow keeping his arms crossed.  
  
"I spoke to Marty after the incident. I didn't tell him it was you. I said it was a friend from home. I asked for advice because I'm not an experienced dom and I felt like I'd fucked it up and that was excruciating so I needed to know what I did wrong. And believe me Marty was keen to tell me all the ways I had fucked it up. He said he'd help me be better."  
"He's giving you dom lessons?"  
  
Mitch nods enthusiastically.  
  
"Just theory?"

Auston raises an eyebrow in what he hopes is a suggestive manner. He's not quite mastered the technique like Willy but he's working on it.

"Ew gross, of course!"  
"Okay. I guess that's alright. But you breathe a single word of this, about me, to Marty, to anyone I'll have your guts for garters. I don't care what it would do to the team."  
"Got it."  
"Okay."  
  
Auston unfolds his arms and gestures to the couch. It feels slightly weird like this. Clinical even. But he doesn't care. He just needs to get what he needs from Mitch and then they can go back to being Matty and Marns and none of this has to be mentioned.  
  
Mitch sits on the couch and instantly spreads his legs wide. He's wearing soft looking sweats and Auston can't help wishing he was in shorts. He almost flinches as the thought bubbles to the surface without his permission. It's not normal to be craving skin on skin like that. It's not normal to look at your teammate in sweats and wish you could put your face on their bare thigh. He realises he hasn't moved and is just staring when Mitch clears his throat and shifts slightly.  
  
"Is this okay?"  
  
Auston pauses. He can't say… He wants to sure, but he can't. So he doesn't.  
  
He places the floor cushion between Mitch's feet because fucking up his knees is not part of the bargain. Fuck that.  
  
He kneels down softly and keeps his head hanging low. Mitch doesn't touch him and for that he is grateful. Auston feels the edges of his tension start to wane as he rests his cheek on the soft cotton of Mitch's sweats.  
  
He'll have to ask Mitch where he got these sweats they really are such a nice fabric and they fit him rather well too, a nice curve over his… Mitch does know all the best stores in Toronto after all even his is tastes are usually a bit too generic for Auston.

The height of his couch combined with the cushion is a bit weird. Auston is pretty tall and he feels like he's having to hunch over and it doesn't really feel relaxing. He opens his eyes and then closes them straight away. Not what he should be looking at. Definitely not. Not that he wants to but even if he did he shouldn't.

He sort of wishes he'd bought that scented candle he'd seen in the little boutique he'd passed the other day. He'd initially thought he would send one to his mom but they'd smelled so good he'd considered one for himself. It would be nice to freshen up the slightly stale scent of his apartment.                                                                                                                              

Auston turns his head slightly and tries to surreptitiously smell Mitch's thigh. He's not sure why and he's not sure if Mitch notices but he's resolutely not looking up. Mitch smells good. Kind of fresh but still… Mitch. He doesn't know what that smell is but he'd recognise it anywhere, if pressed, probably anyway. Auston exhales heavily, definitely not a sigh, and fidgets a little shifting his weight between his knees. He'd expected the feeling of tightness to have gone by now. He doesn't really remember a lot about the first time they did this, he hadn't been entirely lucid but he'd figured it was quicker than this. He sighs again before pulling back and looking up at Mitch.  
  
"This isn't working."  
  
He sees the look of hurt on Mitch's face as he moves as if to get up but Auston just pushes him back down and presses him there with a hand on each thigh.  
  
"What… do you need something else? What can I do?"  
  
He knows what he needs he just doesn't know if he can get the words out.  
  
"Can you like…"  
  
Auston kind of pulls at the material of the sweats where he still has his hands on Mitch's thighs and looks up at him. He can see the moment Mitch figures out what he wants and the flicker of joy that comes into his eyes.  
  
"Can I borrow some shorts?"  
  
Auston nods. Mitch jumps up from the couch and heads towards the bedroom. Auston reaches for the normal couch cushion and replaces it under his knees. It's not as comfortable as the floor cushion but it's smaller so he will be at a better height. When Mitch comes back into the room he's wearing a pair of Auston's gym shorts and they look ridiculous on him and he is well aware. He has the waist cinched in as tight as it will go and it still looks like it would fall down at a moments notice. He resettles himself on the couch spreading his legs around Auston. The shorts ride up to about mid thigh and Auston just has to nudge it a touch higher with his nose and he has his cheek resting on the softness on Mitch's inner thigh. He doesn't pause to think about the weirdness of this chain of events. He can already feel himself falling into that hazy space he had felt before where all the tension just bled from his muscles. As the haze descends and the fuzziness in his brain takes over he can't stop the words escaping his mouth.  
  
"You can put your hand in my hair, if you like, and play with it."  
  
He feels the tips of Mitch's fingers stroke through his hair and the light scratch of his nails against his scalp and he's out.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... I promise there will be happy in this eventually. Not too far away.

Auston feels the hazy blackness begin to retreat. Mitch's hand is still in his hair but it has stilled now. His face is still turned into Mitch's thigh and he can feel the warm skin under his cheek. His knees are beginning to feel a little sore. Auston breathes heavily through his nose. He hadn't been looking forward to this.

 

He knows how this kind of thing works. He knows what is expected of him. When a sub is put on his knees it's for the sub. So the sub has to do something for the dom. Tit for tat. Mitch might've given him a free pass on the first time but Auston wasn't about to shirk his responsibilities another time. It was just something he had to do, swallow his pride, and get on with it. It was part and parcel of being a sub. _Servicing_ your dom. If Mitchy was doing this for him, he had to do something for Mitch. At least if he offered he could be in control of what he had to do.

 

Auston tenses slightly and draws himself backwards. Mitch lets his hand slip from Auston's hair and he can't stop the whine he releases. He still feels the haziness around the edges of his mind but he pushes through. He lifts his hand and reaches forward hovering before speaking.

 

“Lift up and I'll...”

 

Auston doesn't look up so he feels rather than sees Mitch throw himself backwards.

 

“What the fuck?”

 

Auston shakes.

 

“You don't want... you don't want me to?”

 

Auston hates the weakness and vulnerability in his voice. He looks up at a stricken Mitch who is pressed back against the back of the couch a look of wild fear in his eyes.

 

“It's not that I don't want you too.”

“Well then why the fuck are you back there? Let's just get this over with.”

 

Mitch levels him with such a look Auston feels completely lost. He'd thought he had a footing in the situation but now he has no clue what's going on. Mitch pulls his legs up and pushes himself up so he's perching on the back of the couch almost as if he was shielding himself from Auston. He sits back on his haunches and tries to shake the fuzz from his brain sure he must have missed something. It just doesn't add up.

 

“Aus, buddy...”

 

Auston just rolls his eyes.

 

“I don't need you to suck my dick. That's not on the table here.”

 

He looks so serious. Mitch isn't serious. He's a clown. In a fun way. A good way. But he is serious about this. Seriously turning down a blow job because it's _him._ Fuck.

 

He might still be fighting back the fuzzy feeling but that thought crystallises solidly and sticks. Fuck. He can feel his mouth hanging open and an ugly humiliated blush stain his cheeks. _Fuck_.

 

Without really thinking about it Auston leaps to his feat, rushes passed the couch, down the corridor and into the bathroom slamming the door behind him and clicking the lock. He slumps to the floor resting his forehead on his knees and clenching his hands together behind his head. Rocking backwards and forwards he tries to stem the rush of tears he can feel building up behind his eyes. He doesn't want to cry. He can't. He's not _that_ sub. He's not a stereotype. But, _fuck,_ that look in Mitch's eyes when he'd finally met them. He could feel it on a deep instinctual level how wrong it was to displease his dom. He lets the shame wash over him at the failure, at the rejection, at being everything he hates. He hates the way his own body betrays him. Still wanting Mitch. Gagging for it. Craving sucking the guy's dick who had literally recoiled at even the idea. What sort of sub was he if he repulsed his dom? What sort of freak needed it that much that he'd practically thrown himself at a guy who was just trying to do him a favour? _Fuck_. Not on the table. Like Auston was such an idiot for thinking Mitch might _want_ to get his dick sucked. Not on the table. Like he wouldn't even _consider_ Auston an option. Not even for a measly blowie. Was he really that repulsive? _Fuck_. Is he really that desperate that he wants Mitch to want him even if he hadn't actually wanted to give Mitch a blow job? Is that just his pride?

 

Auston's thoughts are interrupted by an incessant knocking at the door and a muffled yell.

 

“Aus! Open up, please? I'm begging you.”

 

Auston hesitates. The haze is mostly gone now and whilst his body still reacts to the recognisable order from his dom his mind still stops him. He can say no.

 

He says nothing.

 

“Please Auston. We need to talk. It's just a misunderstanding. Please. Let me in.”

 

Auston reaches up and twists the lock open. He pushes himself backwards and turns so he is facing the door. He wraps his arms around his knees and buries his face in them so only his eyes peek out over the top to watch as Mitch opens the door and crawls into the room. He stops and sits kneeling down in front of Auston. His hand jerks forward in an abortive attempt to reach for Auston that he obviously thinks better of.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

Well he wasn't expecting that. What was Mitch apologising for?

 

“For what?”

 

Mitch is usually an open book to read and the confusion is written in the twist of his eyebrows and the quirk of his mouth.

 

“I haven't been a very good dom for you.”

“You haven't done anything wrong.”

 

Auston shrugs. He has no idea why Mitch is blaming himself. He doesn't really want to talk about it. But he is resigned to it. He can't get passed Mitch and escape the bathroom. And really he should be above running away from his own apartment. He would have to face Mitch at practice anyway and he relies on Mitch now. So no matter how humiliating this is going to be Auston just had to suck it up and try and get out of the conversation with as little damage done. He has absolutely no idea how to spin offering Mitch a blow job in a casual bro way though. No clue.

 

“Are you kidding? I've fucked this up so many times already and you _need_ me to be a good dom for you and I keep failing and it hurts so fucking much.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

“What happened out there...”

“I was there. I don't really understand though. I was just offering to like, return the favour, that's what I'm supposed to do. I guess I figured you wouldn't mind if I... But I'm sorry if you don't, like, want to with me, or like guys in general, but I won't do it again. You'll have to let me know what I can do though to you know, balance it out, or whatever.”

 

Auston looks Mitch dead in the eye and steels himself. This is good. Well, this is his best case scenario. In and out. Mitch just has to agree to let him know then he can leave and Auston can wallow in peace. Or drink till he forgets this even happened.

 

“Auston...”

 

Mitch looks devastated. If he didn't know better Auston would describe the look as _heartbroken_. He looks on the verge of tears and frankly Auston has no clue what the fuck is wrong with him. So he just shrugs. What else is there?

 

“Shit, Aus, there's so much in there... like where do I even start?”

 

He shrugs again. He's so lost he figures this would be a great time to let Mitch take control. That was his job after all. Mitch can explain everything. He lifts his eyes to meet Mitch's and wonders what Mitch sees there? Fear? Weakness? Humiliation? Disgust? Hope? Mitch looks at him pityingly and that might be worse than anything else.

 

“Firstly, the guy thing is definitely not a problem for me. I'm Bi.”

“Uh, thank you for telling me?”

 

Mitch laughs.

 

“You're welcome. But like it doesn't have a bearing on _this._ Well, like, it _does_ but not our arrangement.”

“You don't want _me_. It's okay, I get it.”

 

Mitch laughs again and Auston frowns. Jesus, he hadn't thought Mitch would be a dick about it. Mitch reaches out for him again but this time he doesn't pull back letting his fingers wrap around Auston's wrist and just holding onto him.

 

“Buddy, that is _so_ not the problem here.”

 

Wait, what? What the fuck was going on here?

 

“But you turned me down?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Why?”

“Jesus, Aus, what sort of dom would I be if I took advantage of you like that?”

 

Mitch visibly bristles and tightens the grip on Auston's wrist. He can feel a calmness start to eat away at the edges of the ball of nervous energy in his gut. His brain feels like it is firing all it's synapses at the speed of light but just the warmth spreading from that point of contact on his wrist sends a message to his brain to chill the fuck out.

 

“I don't know. I thought that's what you were supposed to do? Like you help me out and I help you out?”

 

Mitch shakes his head dropping his eyes from Auston's for a second.

 

“No. That's just... no. That's not how it works.”

“Well what do you get out of it then?”

“Do I have to get something out of it?”

 

Auston snorts and it's Mitch's turn to shrug.

 

“It's complicated. But it's not really necessarily a sex thing for me.”

 

Auston doesn't say anything. He knows when Mitch is in a monologuing mood and this is just the intro.

 

“What I _get_ out of it is the satisfaction of doing a good job taking care of you. If you are happy and healthy and satisfied and out on the ice tearing it up then I know I've done a good job. Then I feel good. So like, the kneeling is nice. It's relaxing for me and it makes me feel proud to be able to help you out like that. I've never seen a sub go down so well, so easily, so beautifully. And that's what I need. But sex can be a part of it for some people and that's fine. But you have to talk about it beforehand and agree boundaries and limits before you go under. It would be far too easy for a dom to take advantage of a sub accidentally or otherwise if they accepted any offer to please like that without prior consent. You weren't fully _back_ , not totally normal. I know I freaked out and I'm sorry for scaring you or upsetting you but I promise it wasn't about you.”

“How the hell was it not about me?”

 

Mitch laughs again rubbing his free hand through his hair and gripping the back of his neck. He shrugs his shoulders bashfully and grimaces slightly.

 

“Dude, you have no idea what sort of dom fantasy you were right then. On your knees offering to suck my dick... I had to physically push myself away to stop myself. Dude.”

 

Mitch sounds wistful and Auston definitely isn't blushing.

 

“But it's not on the table right? This, this arrangement, isn't a sex thing.”

“No.”

“So you just like taking care of me?”

“Yeah.”

 

Oh. That's... well that's _nice._ Was his dom supposed to be nice? Mitch did take care of him to be fair. He was always driving him places and cooking for him. He'd even done Auston's laundry once when he'd admitted to buying new clothes rather than doing his own laundry. He'd helped him improve his COD skills too which had saved him some major chirping from the team. His mother always sounded so surprised that Auston was managing to cope without any parental supervision. His father had stayed with him for little more than two months before Auston had felt able to cope on his own. But he hadn't been coping on his own. Mitch had been looking after him. _Caring_ for him.

 

“Mitchell Marner have you been low key domming me this entire time?”

 

It's Mitch's turn to flush now and the blotchy pink spreading over his entire face and down his neck is so much worse than any flushing Auston _might_ have exhibited.

 

“Maybe.”

“Even when you thought I was a dom?”

 

Mitch nods.

 

“It was safe then. You were still a disaster and you needed help. It was okay that it wasn't a dynamic thing. It still worked for me.”

 

Auston raises an eyebrow and Mitch giggles.

 

“I'm not surprised they mistook you for a sub.”

“Not cool, bro.”  
“Sorry, you're the one telling me you're a dom who just needs to _care_ for his sub and not, like, I don't know, tie them up and whip them.”

“That's such a fucking stereotype Matts. What did they even teach you in dynamic education down in Arizona?”

“Not much.”

“Well, for the record dominant and submissive do not equal sadist and masochist. That can be a part of it to a larger and lesser degree but they are not the same thing. Not all dominants need to inflict pain to get off. And not all submissives like being whipped or whatever.”

“I don't need a lecture Mitch.”

“Don't you?”

 

Auston glares back at Mitch sullenly.

 

“It's cool if that's something you need Matts but I probably wouldn't be the best dom for you then. We could try and find you someone else though.”

 

Mitch was teasing. He had to be. He _knew_ Auston wasn't telling anyone else.

 

“Very funny Mitch.”

“You know, I probably should have suggested testing you beforehand.”

“There's a test?”

“Not like, not a _test_ really. More of a checklist to figure out what you want or need. Most people only do it when they are matching with a play partner or during courtship but it might be useful for you to help in your self-discovery phase. Most people have it a bit earlier than you but like I get it. I only did mine like last summer. It's a lot to learn and take in.”

“So what's the point of the checklist?”

“Well like I said mostly it's to see if your preferences line up with someone else rather than having to give each prospective partner a list you can both just submit a checklist to a website and they'll tell you if you are compatible. If you like the same things.”

“What's the point for me? It's not like I've got tons of options lying around if you're not into the same stuff as me.”

“But it's helpful to know for yourself. You might surprise yourself. I can send you a link.”

 

Auston nods. He lowers his forehead to his knees for a moment and lets out a shaky breath. He keeps feeling like he is solid emotionally only to fall off a cliff and feel like a complete wreck. He wants to be able to control himself. He thought this kneeling thing was supposed to help with that but it just seems to have got worse since then. Moments of it have been utter bliss and a feeling of safety and security he has never felt before. But then everything seems to come crashing down around and he is worse off than ever before. He doesn't know how to fix the broken pieces around him and build them back up into 'Auston Matthews'.

 

“I'm new at this too Matts. You deserve better than me.”

 

Auston frowns and meets his eyes.

 

“I don't want anyone else Mitch.”

“You have no idea how bad I've been and that makes me feel even worse. My job is to look after you and look how much I've failed?”

“But look how much you've succeeded?”

“Will you come out to the living room with me? I need to...”

 

Auston nods. He lets Mitch wrap his arms around Auston's shoulders and gently tug him upright. Auston lets Mitch take some of his weight as he wraps an arm around his waist and supports him like an invalid down the corridor to the couch. He wraps a blanket around Auston and props all the pillows around him like a nest. He reaches into the bag left discarded and forgotten by the arm of the couch and passes Auston a bottle of Cool Blue Gatorade. His favourite. He puts a soft sounding playlist on Auston's sound system and wiggles his way into Auston's cocoon to wrap himself around Auston's body like some sort of limpet or an invasive moss. But dynamic or otherwise Mitch's presence soothes him and he can feel a satisfied sort of glow settle around him. Like nothing could be truly that bad as long as Mitch is there to take care of him. It might be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster but Mitch isn't letting go. And Mitch Marner is a stubborn motherfucker.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this feels like a bit of a non-event then I apologise it could be seen as a bit of a filler but good things are afoot!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Auston opened the link for the first time on the plane. It had definitely been a mistake. A big one. Luckily, Willy hadn't been paying attention laughing instead with Kappy in the row behind. Auston had managed to click out of it quickly enough that nobody had noticed. He had received a text from Mitch saying not to open the link in public. In fairness to Mitch he'd sent that first. Auston just hadn't read it.

 

Now, in the privacy of his own apartment and behind the closed door of his bedroom for extra security Auston takes a deep breath and a swig from his bottle of beer before opening the link once again.

 

It is the checklist Mitch had mentioned. It starts off with just a blurb explaining the idea behind the checklist and how it is designed to be filled out; filing each row with receive/give in one of five columns designated hard limit, soft limit, curious, enjoy, and love. Just skimming through the list of things Auston is supposed to be checking freaks him out. He has no idea what half of this stuff even is. He takes another swig of the beer and starts from the top. The easiest bit at least is put first.

 

Name: check, role identified: check, specific fetishes: well he's not really sure at this point. He'll fill that bit in later. Pain Tolerance: 1, he doesn't want to say zero because like some stuff involves a little pain but nothing serious. Experience level: beginner, sexual orientation: well, he'll leave that one for now, medical conditions: none. Easy. Physical/mental limitations: he doesn't really have any physical ones right now, that might change if he gets injured but mental limitations? That he isn't going to think about. He can power through.

 

There are definitely some words on there though that Auston doesn't know what they mean and he's a little hesitant to google it. That seems like a bad idea.

 

But Mitch is just outside in the living area and Auston feels like this might be an activity that he needs Mitch for. He feels a little afloat like he's drowning in all this information and he has no way to make sense of it all. He needs an anchor.

 

So he gets up from his bed and grabs his tablet from his dresser. He pulls on a worn out Team USA hoodie and shuffles out to find Mitch. As expected Mitch is curled up on Auston's couch watching hockey highlights on mute. He turns round clearly surprised to see Auston out so soon.

 

“You done already?”

“No. I need help.”

 

Mitch jumps up immediately and Auston can't help the smirk. He shouldn't play on Mitch's need to care for him and he didn't mean to. But it's nice all the same.

 

“Sit down and I'll get you something to drink. Water, tea, gatorade... another beer?”

 

Auston curls himself into the corner of the couch snuggling into its warmth from where Mitch had just left.

 

“Probably shouldn't have more beer so maybe, gatorade.”

“Cool blue, coming up.”

 

Mitch returns quickly, sets down the gatorade and immediately drapes himself over Auston's shoulders laying his head down. Auston goes cross-eyed trying to catch his eye and Mitch giggles. It's not right though and Auston wiggles, whining as he tries to find a comfortable position.

 

“Come on Matts, if you need something you have to use your words.”

“I'm not fucking five Mitch.”

 

Mitch just gives him a pointed look and goes back to watching the game.

 

“Get up then, I'll show you.”

 

Mitch stands quickly and effortlessly and waits for Auston to put him where he wants him. Auston pushes Mitch back into the corner seat of the couch and seats on the next seat wiggling his way backwards until his back is flush with Mitch's chest and Mitch curls his limbs round Auston hooking his head over his shoulder. Auston grabs the blanket from the back of the couch and throws it over them. Nodding, satisfied he opens the checklist on his tablet. Mitch looks away quickly returning his gaze to the tv.

 

“You can look, if you want.”

“You sure? It's pretty personal.”

“It's you, so it's okay.”

“Cool so, if you have any questions let me know.”

 

Auston looks at the first section. It's pretty easy. He's starts ticking away but before he even gets three rows down Mitch makes an odd strangled noise then buries his head in Auston's shoulder. Auston looks down at the three boxes he'd checked.

 

“Would this be a good time to tell you I'm gay?”

“You hook up with a fair amount of girls. I didn't know.”

“I didn't tell you. And that's just for cover you know. I thought you figured when I offered...”

“I thought that was an obligation thing. Like something you felt you had to do as a sub with a male dom.”

“Well yeah it was, but doesn't mean I don't like it.”

“You know you can put receive or give on all of these.”

“I'm a sub Mitch I'm not going to be getting a blow job or fucking anyone. That's not how it works.”

“Oh buddy, you have so much to learn.”

 

Auston can hear the leer in his voice and he can't help the image that pops into his mind of Mitch... well, shit. Shaking his head to dislodge those thoughts Auston returns to the list and continues through it. The first section is all sex acts and those are fairly easy to tick and he has a fair mix of boxes albeit with a huge red 'hard limit' section for any of the threesome/gang bang elements.

 

“So not into sharing then.”

“Nope. I think I'm too possessive for that. Is that weird?”  
“No not at all.”  
“But isn't it supposed to be the dom that gets all jealous and possessive?”

“You feel how you feel Aus and it's okay.”

  
Auston pauses.

 

“I don't think I could do any of this sort of stuff with a hook up you know. I don't think it's casual. So for me it's relationship sort of stuff. Like to trust someone with this would take a lot for me so if I was doing this stuff it would be exclusive.”

“That's good.”

“It is?”

 

Mitch stills digging his chin into Auston's shoulder slightly and squeezing his arms a little tighter before relaxing.

 

“I mean, it's cool, it's okay for you to feel that. A lot of people only do this in committed relationships.”

 

Auston continues. The next section is on bondage. Auston hasn't really thought about this before. He is aware it's like a _thing_. But he's never considered it. He pauses with his finger hovering over the hard limit box. He imagines Mitch handcuffing him to the bed. He thinks about his wrists and ankles all tied to bed posts spread out for Mitch to do whatever he wanted with. Fuck. He can't get hard. He _can't_. But just the thought. Completely at Mitch's mercy and trusting him to take control and take care of Auston. Guess that's a curious at least.

 

Mitch doesn't seem to react when Auston starts ticking the curious boxes. He doesn't want to check back but he's fairly sure Mitch isn't going to be judging him. Especially not for something so tame.

 

“What's shibari?”

“Oh it's so cool Aus, it's like this Japanese art of knot tying, like intricate rope bondage I guess. Let me show you.”

 

For one crazy second Auston thinks Mitch is going to start tying him up right there. He definitely isn't excited by that. Nope.

 

Instead Mitch opens a new tab on Auston's tablet and brings up an image search for shibari. He's gobsmacked. The pictures aren't porn they're art. The way the rope caresses and contains the bodies, the power so obviously held back and limited. It's beautiful. It's hot.

 

“Cool.”

 

There are probably better words to describe Auston's feelings about this but chill is usually his fall back. It's not really the right vibe for this situation but it's not like Mitch would be expecting anything else. And it's not like Mitch doesn't see Auston enthusiastically checking the curious box. The more extreme bondage stuff goes right into hard limits but this is good, this is real stuff submissives are supposed to like and Auston likes it. The idea anyway. And it's not all chains and whips and oh... here's the S&M section.

 

He scans the list of terms under this heading and knows straight away very little is getting out of the hard limit box here. He guesses he could tolerate hair pulling and pinching, those can go into soft limit and maybe he's a little curious about ice/cold play but everything gets a blanket hard limit. Mitch squeezes him gently and turns his face into his neck. It feels like Mitch telling him it's okay and so Auston is going to take it like that. It feels so much better to do this with Mitch at his back. He feels calm and in control and so what if he needs Mitch Marner as his human backpack to face up to identifying his sub needs. This shit is scary. He doesn't like to judge but who the hell likes foot torture or urethral play? That doesn't sound fun. So maybe he is a little judgemental but he'd never say it aloud. That's not okay. He knows that. He just...

 

Power play, okay this is more of the stuff he was expecting. Traditional sub stuff like housework and begging and behaviour restriction. He hesitates slightly as he starts filling out the hard limit stuff biting his lip and turning his head towards Mitch. He can't meet his eyes at this angle but Mitch can tell he wants to ask something.

 

“It's okay to not want this stuff Matts. It doesn't make you a bad sub.”

 

Auston nods. This is why he needs Mitch. He doesn't hesitate to say he enjoys receiving housework. Just for Mitch. Mitch's giggles jostle his body and his arms tighten around Auston's torso. But there is some stuff in this power play section Auston definitely wouldn't mind. He could take orders if it was Mitch giving them. He'd give orders nicely not meanly. He'd like that.

 

Obviously food chosen is fine, Mitch already does that, and dirty talk is something he'd do in a vanilla sex situation. Service stuff, nope, not for him. Maybe the biggest sub stereotype is the collared sub, the outward display of ownership. But maybe...

 

There's a fair few boxes Auston finds himself ticking, more than he ever thought he was going to. He'd thought he would hate all of this stuff but there is so much here, from tame to extreme. So while he might 'hard limit' the entire role play section he finds himself curious about orgasm delay, being recorded, praise. There was a whole section on BDSM gear and there were plenty of 'curious' boxes ticked here. He isn't really surprised to find himself happily ticking the ropes and cuffs boxes and noping passed stocks, spread bars and chastity belts but he stops to think about blindfolds, about harnesses and then about gags. Fuck. He feels himself freezing as he pictures himself bound, gagged and blindfolded waiting for Mitch to fuck him. He still feels shy as he ticks the boxes. He can't help wanting to please Mitch, wanting Mitch to appreciate his desires, wanting Mitch to want the same things as him. Shit, he wants to match with Mitch.

 

It's more than just convenience. It's more than the fact that Mitch is the only one that knows. Auston has never felt as comfortable with someone as he is with Mitch. With everything. He likes that Mitch takes care of him. It's hard to get his head around the fact that this is something Mitch needs to do as a dom. Mitch is just the nicest dom.

 

“You done?”

“Yep.”

“So you can just click submit and then if you ever want to compare yourself to someone it's already stored and you can always change things if you want to.”

 

Auston clicks on the submit button and exhales heavily. It's over. He's examined himself, his needs, his desires and honestly come up with some very interesting fantasies. Fantasies in which Mitch would almost certainly be taking a staring role. He had probably discovered more today than he had anticipated.   
  


Something on the tablet catches Auston's eye. He is being presented with the comparison options and top of the list was one Mitchell Marner. Auston can feel Mitch scratching lightly at his sides and burying his nose in Auston's shoulder. Which all means he probably isn't paying full attention allowing Auston to tick the box and press compare.

 

“Hey!”

 

Auston smirks shrugging at Mitch's protestations.

 

“I just wanna know.”

“That wasn't what we were supposed to be doing.”

“What's the harm?”

 

Mitch just grumbles as the page loads tightening his grip again around Auston's waist.

 

“Holy shit!”

“What is that good?”

“97 Matts, that's, it's...”

“Fucking McDavid, is what it is.”

“Chill, 16 or 34 would have been really bad Matts. But 97...”

“Is that high?”

“It's out of 100.”

“Fuck, that is high. Not 100 though.”

“No one really gets 100 Matts. Anything over 50 is considered compatible.”

“Wow”

 

Mitch buries his head in Auston's neck so he feels rather than hears Mitch's mumbled words.

 

“What's that Mitch?”

 

Mitch just snuggles in further.

 

“Come on, tell me.”

“I've never seen anything that high. Normal is around 60-80.”

 

Auston preens. He can't help himself.

 

“You're perfect, Mitch.”

 

Auston didn't mean to say that. Mitch just giggles burying his head back into the crook of Auston's neck letting his breath tickle.

 

“Also you're such a liar Mitchell.”

“What?”

“Not really a sexual thing?”

 

Auston turns his torso round in Mitch's arms to get a good look at him. Mitch looks stricken.

 

“I was just joking, Mitch...”

“I didn't mean to lie. It was just... this thing we're doing isn't really a sexual thing, so like I didn't want to freak you out.”

“Any more than I was already freaking out.”

 

Mitch nods.

 

“It's okay. I get it. You're just helping me out and you don't have to reveal your stuff to me. I shouldn't have compared it.”

“No Auston, that's not it. It's just... it's not _necessarily_ a sexual thing. Like I could care for you and have you kneel for me and that really would be enough and for a lot of doms that would seem, I don't know, weak.”

“It's not weak, Mitch. If you're not into sex... it's like a real thing.”

 

Mitch huffs out a breath.

 

“I like sex Matts. But I think you forget sometimes that I don't have much experience with this. I was forced to sub for two years in the O and maybe that gives me a different perspective, I don't know, it's hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

“I've never dommed someone for like, sex. And it's a big responsibility. Like the idea of all that trust is terrifying, awesome but terrifying. And I like the non-sexual stuff too, more than most doms probably, so that's easier.”

“I think you'll be good at it Mitch.”

 

Mitch laughs open and light.

 

“Why'd you think that?”

“You're nice, Mitch. And like you _care_ about being good and that's half the battle.”

 

Mitch nods.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Have you thought about it?”

“What?”

“Finding someone to do this stuff with.”

 

Mitch shrugs and looks away.

 

“Have you?”

 

Auston laughs bitterly.

 

“I don't have that option remember.”

 

Auston scrubs a hand over his face. Oh well, all in.

 

“Besides, I only ever thought about it with you. Like when I imagine someone doing this; it's you.”

 

Mitch doesn't say anything to that. He doesn't need to though because Auston knows. He _knows_ how Mitch feels about him. He knows by the fact that Mitch is always there for him. Always caring for him. He knows in the tightening of Mitch's arms around Auston's chest holding them together. He knows in the steady breathing he can feel as Mitch's chest presses against his back. He knows in the faint press of Mitch's lips to his neck and he buries his head there and they settle together. They're both holding back, afraid of something. But Mitch is still there for him. Literally wrapped around him to provide him the comfort he needs. If Auston wants more he's going to have to do something about it himself. He's the one in control; that's what Mitch is always saying anyway. He has to make the first move. He's a sub and he's in charge. Okay.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy is coming soon...

Auston didn't mean to wait a week before even trying to figure out what to say to Mitch. But it wasn't easy and they were busy. There is always an endless stream of games and practices and PR events to distract him from a frankly terrifying conversation. This isn't something he can just blurt out to Mitch. It needs thought and preparation. But even Google doesn't have any useful advice and that was Auston's only play. Well, it's not his only play. Which is what lead him to where he is now. Sitting awkwardly on Matt Martin's couch trying to work up the nerve to ask his advice on asking Mitch out. Like formally; _dynamically._

 

“You're pretty traditional with your dynamic stuff right?”

“Oh, so that's why you invited yourself over for lunch.”

 

Auston looks up. Marty looks amused if anything. He usually does. Either amused or angry. But Auston doesn't know Marty that well; he has always been Mitch's friend. Marty obviously decides to take pity on Auston smirking as he sits forward.

 

“Yes I'm in a traditional dynamic compatible relationship.”

“How did you two meet?”

 

Marty tilts his head. Auston is being weird, he knows it, he can _feel_ Marty judging him. But he hopes if he just ignores it Marty might indulge him.

 

“We were introduced by mutual friends.”

“Did you guys... play first or...”

 

Auston winces as his voice cracks slightly and rises painfully.

 

“I know you're pretty green, kid but that's not really a polite thing to ask.”

“Shit, sorry, Marty I just... _fuck_.”

“Don't worry. But why don't you just ask me the question you want to ask and we can work it out.”

 

Auston breathes deeply trying to settle himself. He bites his lip and fiddles with the hem of his shirt.

 

“So I'm kind of seeing this... person. Well, not seeing exactly...”

“Playing?”

“Kind of. We've had a platonic arrangement for a little bit now but I want more. They seem really quite traditional about things and any time I've tried to introduce sex into things they've pulled away. But I know they're into me so I guess I just wanted to know if there is anything I don't know about. My dynamic education was apparently very flawed.”

“Oh, buddy.”

“What?”

 

Marty perpetually looks like he's going to burst out laughing but right now he looks like he wants to murder someone. Possible Auston.

 

“You can't do that.”

“Do what?”

“That's fucked up. I know you're just a kid and some states have shitty class about this stuff but come on Auston it's just basic decency man. Don't try and coerce your sub to fuck you. That's abuse and I'm not going to give you fucking pointers man.”

 

Shit.

 

He hadn't thought of that. He had spent so much time stressing about the necessity of this conversation he had forgotten how it would seem from Marty's point of view. Marty who thought he was a dom. Of course it would sound shitty for a dom to be 'trying to introduce' sex into a platonic agreement. It would be shitty.

 

“No, shit wait, Marty. It's not like that I swear!”

“How is it not like that Auston? How could that possibly not be fucked up?”

“Wait, please! Just let me explain.”

“No. You need to shut up and just stop right now!”

 

There's no way out. Fuck, there is absolutely no way out. Auston freezes. Marty thinks he's an abusive dom. It would be funny if it wasn't so fucked up. It is so far from true and it's ridiculous. And what's even more ridiculous is that despite the urge to run away from this, despite the urge to call Mitch and get him to fix this Auston can't move and he can't speak. Because Marty might not be his dom but there is something in his tone of voice, something in his position on the team, something maybe in the stress of the situation that makes him obey.

 

Fuck.

 

“Auston are you okay?”

 

Marty's voice softens slightly. Auston still doesn't move. Still doesn't lift his eyes from the floor where he is staring his cheeks burning, his fingers clenched in the material of his jeans.

 

“Aus, buddy, you're scaring me. Talk to me.”

 

Auston is shaking. He doesn't want this.

 

“I'm not an abusive dom Marty.”

 

He can feel the quiver in his voice and he hates it. He never wanted to expose himself like this in front of Marty. He never wanted anyone to know and now...

 

“Hey Matt, I'm home!”

 

Auston whips his head to the door as Sydney, Marty's girlfriend -fiancée-, walks through the door. He can see the moment she clocks the weird situation she has just walked into.

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

Auston doesn't move. Sydney is looking at Matt who shakes his head slightly. She meets Auston's eyes and he feels like she can tell. Like she can read it on him. Maybe it's like a sense, a sub sense, but he can see the recognition, the realisation pass over her face.

 

“I mean, Matt, you know I'm not super territorial but I think we should have talked about this first don't you.”

 

Auston looks down immediately. She thinks Auston is here for Marty, is here _with_ Marty. Marty who, of course, has no idea what the hell is going on. Doms were so stupid most of the time. No perception. No nuance. All rough and ready, all power and rage. Well, maybe not Mitch.

 

“It's okay, I was just going.”

 

Auston gets up form the couch and keeping his eyes down tries to get past Sydney and to the door. But she doesn't move and he has to stop unless he decides to push past her and frankly whilst he considers it for longer than he reasonably ought to he ultimately knows it is not an option. He looks up at Sydney and looks her in the eye. Someone _else_ knows now. And soon enough Marty will know too. This isn't how it was supposed to go. He wishes Mitch was here. Mitch would know what to do. Or at least Mitch would protect him.

 

“Auston, fuck, sit down and tell me what the hell is going on!”

 

Auston turns reluctantly letting Sydney see the pained expression at his obedience. He sits again, eyes down, hands folded in his lap.

 

“Matt, you shouldn't do that.”

“What?”

 

Marty turns to address Sydney now clearly bristling at her intrusion and her judgement.

 

“Don't give him orders.”

 

Auston feels the silence heavily on his shoulders almost like he can hear in the absence of noise Marty coming to the realisation that Auston was obeying him. And if Auston was obeying him then he wasn't just not an abusive dom, he wasn't a dom at all. Maybe Marty was reassessing the whole conversation.

 

“Auston, I'm sorry, I didn't realise...”

 

Marty doesn't continue but Auston feels Sydney sit next to him and place a delicate hand on his knee.

 

“It's okay Auston, Matt isn't going to give you any more orders. Just, if you can, talk to us. Let us know what's going on and then maybe we can help you.”

 

Auston waits.

 

“Shit, sorry Matts, you don't have to obey me, it's okay, let's just talk.”

 

Auston looks up slowly unsure of what he's going to see in Marty's face. Marty looks worried. It's almost laughable how much his protective older brother mode has clearly been activated. It's a look he's seen Marty give Mitch on so many occasions. It would be funny if it wasn't so fucking tragic.

 

“I'm not an abusive dom Marty, because I'm not a dom.”

“You're a sub, honey?”

 

Auston nods and Sydney takes her hand off his knee and wraps her arm around his shoulders instead.

 

“It's okay. It's safe here, I promise. Now that Matt knows he will address you differently okay. He will not give you orders so you never have to feel like you have to obey. I know you are stressed right now but we're happy to help if we can, right Matt?”

 

Matt nods.

 

“Of course.”

“So you know I'm a sub now.”

“Does anyone else know, sweetie?”

 

Auston nods.

 

“Mitch?”

 

Auston nods again.

 

“So you were saying you have a platonic arrangement with someone who you want more from...”

“Yeah.”

“Have you talked about it?”

 

Auston sighs.

 

“I don't like talking about it.”

 

Sydney squeezes his shoulder and leans her head against his.

 

“Auston, I know it's hard but I'm sure your dom has told you. You have to talk to them, you have to trust them enough to be _able_ to talk to them. If you want or need anything you have to talk about it.”

“But what if all they want is a platonic arrangement and I want a relationship? I don't think I could handle that sort of rejection. It's so messy.”

“You could ask about initiating a courtship.”

 

Marty smiles. Auston has no clue what he's talking about but like, it sounds promising.

 

“What's courtship?”

“What the hell _did_ they teach you in dynamic ed Auston?”

“Nothing.”

“Courtship is how, traditionally, dominants and submissives enter into formal full time relationships”

“That's why you were asking about how we met.”

“Oh that's a story Auston. I'm going to tell you.”

“Do you have to Syd?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

“So, I was introduced to Matt through a mutual friend at a munch.”

“A what?”

“Oh, honey. It's like a casual get together for people involved in the lifestyle to a more formal degree. So we were both there to observe and to meet people not to hook up. And like we're both fairly visible so it was quite a high class event you know not some scuzzy club in a basement or anything. Anyway we were introduced and like Matt got me a drink and we talked for the whole evening. Nothing about the life just about each other. My friend came back to to escort me home and Matt asked for my number.”

 

Marty laughed then and Sydney glared at him.

 

“You probably don't know the etiquette of it but that was a bit forward for the situation and my friend scolded him, a proper dressing down. And we were both subs so it was pretty galling for Matt to have to take but he did take it and with good grace and I guess that was when I knew that he wasn't the dumb jock dom that I thought he was. I grew up around guys like that who buy into the dom stereotype bullshit and even around the more formal scene you get a lot of people like that. I don't have time for that kind of shit.”

“I'm going to take this next bit.”

 

Sydney just shrugs.

 

“So after getting told off I apologised for my rudeness and wished them a good night and Syd, just turns to me all like super intense stare and invites me to court her. On the first night we met. And man, her escort, was shocked and then angry. She definitely didn't think I was worthy or you and I'm not convinced she wasn't wrong...”

 

Sydney is definitely preening now. But giggling too. She squeezes Auston again.

 

“What can I say. I'm a woman who knows what she wants. Anyway he accepted, we courted and then I accepted and we were together.”

“You don't know what any of that means do you?”

“Nope.”

“Honey, it's just like an audition. The dom has to perform for the sub to show that they are compatible and that the dom is good enough for the sub. It's the traditional way to cement a relationship. It's not like an engagement or anything but dynamic compatible relationships have always been a bit more intense that non-dynamic relationships so rituals and traditions have probably stuck around a lot longer. It's obviously pretty important that you are compatible sexually both dynamically and otherwise so there needs to be some comparison of interests and after that it's mainly pomp and circumstance. Just for show.”

“There are six steps: the invite to courtship – by the sub, if the dom accepts they go into the courtship ritual which is the next four steps – matching, gifting, demonstration, presentation and then the dom will ask the sub for a confirmation and if the sub deems the dom acceptable they agree to be their partner. And at that point you are in a fully fledged dynamic compatible relationship. It's more common for people to go into this after they are already seeing someone possibly even after they've played together for a bit.”

“So you said you've been seeing someone but no sex...”

“They definitely are attracted to me and want to have sex with me in a, you know, _dynamic_ way. But they keep holding back...”

“Courtship isn't just about sex though, honey. If you just want to have sex with your dom you're going to have to talk to them – ask for it. You need to be totally up and aware and definitely not drunk during the conversation and just spell it out.”

“But if it's not just sex you're after. If you want to make this a full-time, boyfriend, partner type deal then, invite them to court you.”

 

Auston stops. He's not stupid and no matter what he thinks he hasn't been able to block everything out. He is attracted to Mitch. He wants to have sex with Mitch. Hell, he wants to do _dynamic_ stuff with Mitch. Stuff he never thought he'd allow himself to do but he just _wants._ But he's not stupid. It's not just that. Mitch is a part of his life. He's his best friend. His teammate. His dom. The thought of Mitch ever being any of those things to someone else hurts him so much he goest straight to anger. He sees a future with Mitch. Not just because of the symmetry of their situations but because they fit, they balance. Mitch is the on to his off, the energy to his chill. Mitch pulls him out of his shell. Mitch amps him up. Mitch is his complement. He doesn't complete him just, they work well together. On and off ice. Like gin and tonic. Or steak and chips. Peanut butter and jelly.

 

So yes, he wants to have sex with Mitch Marner but it is so much more than that. It's all the mushy stuff too.

 

Auston shakes his head.

 

“How do I invite someone to court me?”

 

Sydney squeals and wraps both arms round him and squeezes tight.

 

“I'm so happy for you.”

 

Auston laughs. This is a good thing. Something to be happy about. Something to be _congratulated_ about.

 

“Well, it's really simple. You just say their name, then, I formally invite you to commence the rite of courtship. Should you accept, by these witnesses, I hold you bound to the customs of courtship and offer you one month to complete.”

“Then they either say yes or no.”

“God this is old fashioned.”

“Yeah, but it's kind of fun, you know. Plus it really makes you feel in charge. I guess, for me, it always pushed home how much all of this is in my control. I asked Matt and I accepted Matt at the end of it. It was always my choice. Just like everything we do, no matter how in control Matt seems, it's always my choice and my decision when to stop.”

“What if he says no?”  
“He's not going to say no Auston. We both know that.”

 

Auston looks Marty in the eye.

 

“You're sure?”

“I wouldn't say that if I wasn't 100% sure Auston. I wouldn't play with you like that. But I know him and …”

“You talk.”

“Yes.”

“About me?”

“Indirectly.” Marty pauses scrubbing at his face “He never told me it was you. Just that there was someone. And sometimes I looked at the way you two were but I believed you were a dom so it didn't make sense and I moved past that idea.”

“But when I said I was a sub.”

“I figured it had to be him.”

“Why?”

“You're perfect together.”

 

It's Auston's turn to preen now and he feels shameless for doing it so obviously but he can't help it. They _are_ perfect together.

 

“We are. We've already sorta done the matching bit.”

“You have?”

“Yeah. Mitch took me through a check list just to kind of figure out what I liked and wanted and stuff and it was one from the site he used and there was just a check box to compare.”

“And you clicked it?”

 

Auston shrugs. Sydney and Marty just laugh.

 

“What did you get?”

“97.”

“Fuck that's high!”

 

Marty looks shellshocked. Literally struck dumb as Sydney squeezes Auston again in her vice like grip.

 

“Am I allowed to ask what you guys are?”

“We got a 68 bud.”

“Isn't that like?”

“Anything over 50 is considered a match. I've never heard of anything so high.”

“Me neither.”

 

Auston is preening again.

 

“Can I call him?”

 

Marty's eyebrows practically hit his hairline as he reels in shock.

 

“You want to do this now?”

“Yeah, like as soon as possible. And if I need witnesses it's going to have to be in front of you two.”

“No one else knows?”

“Nope.”

“Well, if you're sure?”

 

Auston doesn't really need the time to think but he pauses anyway. This is Mitch. His Mitch. There's absolutely no doubt in his mind that this is what he wants.

 

“I'm sure Marty. I'm really sure. I want this.”

 

Sydney is all smiles as she looks down at the sparkly ring that has newly found its way onto her finger. She looks up then first at Marty and then at Auston.

 

“He's going to say yes, honey. You're going to be so happy.”

 

She hugs him again and laughing Marty joins the hug jumping onto Auston's lap. Auston fights his way out of the hug enough to get his phone out but he can't dislodge them entirely so puts the call on speaker.

 

“MATTY!”

“Hey Mitchy.”

 

Auston can't help the smile spreading across his face. It's his Mitch smile.

 

“What's up, where are you?”

“I'm at Marty's.”

 

Mitch is silent.

 

“You should come over.”

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

“Is everything okay?”

“It's great Mitchy. Be better if you were here though.”

 

Sydney giggles. Marty kisses her cheek and legitimately 'awws'. Auston rolls his eyes but can't keep the grin off his face.

 

“I'll be there in five.”

 

Auston isn't nervous. He isn't. Mitch wants this. Mitch wants Auston.

 

They don't move from their weird cuddle pile as they wait for Mitch to arrive although they don't really talk either. He feels like maybe they are a bit nervous for him with the way Sydney tightens her grip around Auston's waist and snuggles her head onto his shoulder. Marty just ruffles his hair and laughs at his responding scowl.

 

It feels like no time before Auston hears a key in the door. He should have known Mitch would have a key for Marty's place; he has a key for a lot of the guy's places including Auston's. He wishes he could capture the look on Mitch's face when he sees the three of them piled on the couch, for posterity. And for the chirps of course. Mitch wasn't known for the most attractive facial expressions at the best of times but this was something else; mouth hanging open in surprise, eyebrows knitted together.

 

“Mitchy!”

 

Auston struggles to dislodge Marty from his lap and gets another ruffle of his hair for his trouble. They may be pretty much the same height but Marty still had a few pounds on him and Auston had the disadvantage of having Marty's girlfriend - _fiancée_ _-_ attached to his side. Marty gets up eventually if only to cross the room and envelop Mitch in a proper bro-hug. Auston has never tried to compete with their relationship. It would be pointless. But there is nothing to be jealous of; they are like brothers. Mitch still looks bemused at the entire situation as Auston finally manages to get up from the couch and make his way over to Mitch.

 

“You're freaking me out Matts, what the hell is going on?”

“Just... I've got something to say. Can you stay quiet until I'm finished okay?”

 

Mitch nods and Auston glances at Marty. Auston takes Mitch's hands in his. He feels stupid doing it but it seems like the right thing to do.

 

“Mitchell Marner I formally invite you to commence the rite of courtship. Should you accept, by these witnesses, I hold you bound to the customs of courtship and offer you one month to complete.”

 

Mitch's struck dumb look somehow intensifies and suddenly Auston feels the nerves start to rise in his stomach. He hadn't thought Mitch would need so long to consider.

 

“Are you serious Aus?” Mitch whispers “You know what this means?”

 

Auston nods gently and Mitch shuts his mouth abruptly his teeth clicking. He glances to Marty and Sydney who nod as well.

 

“Fuck, yes!”

 

Mitch grips him in the tightest hug and Auston sinks into it.

 

“I'm gonna court you so good bro.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters just seem to get longer and longer and this one is a bit of a beasy.
> 
> Sorry, not sorry.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, lmk.

“So we've already done the matching bit.”

“Headstart. Should've given you less time.”

 

Auston swings his legs from the stool at his breakfast bar waiting while Mitch chops up the ingredients for fajitas.

 

“What's the next step?”

“You don't remember?”

“That's what I've got you for.” Auston says with a hand wave stealing a piece of capsicum off the chopping board.

 

Mitch seems caught between frowning and smiling and it's a _look_. This is one Auston needs to remember. He smiles with a heavy helping of faux innocence batting his eyelashes and sticking out his bottom lip.

 

“It's gifting. That's the next stage.”

“Oh, what does that mean?”

“It means I have to unload some of that ELC for you.”

“Huh?”

“I have to buy you something nice. A gift.”

 

Auston snorts.

 

“I'm pretty sure I earn more than you.”

 

Mitch shrugs smiling.

 

“Doesn't matter. I'm your dom, or I will be, if you know, you accept me...”

“Mitch, I'm going to accept you.”

“You don't know that yet.”

 

Auston snorts again. He's sure it's not attractive but he can't really be blamed when Mitch is being so ridiculous.

 

“I asked you didn't I? You're the only person I've ever let see me like this. And you're going to be the only person who _ever_ gets to.”

“You know courtship isn't marriage right?”

“Whatever.”

“I mean, I don't mind, I like forever. I like _you_. What was I talking about?”

“You were talking about my gift.”

 

Mitch turns around from the stove and squints his eyes at Auston, biting at the corner of his bottom lip. If Auston wasn't so all-consumingly hungry that might make him feel something.

 

“What do you want?”

“I feel like you definitely can't ask me that. Surely that defeats the point.”

 

Mitch shrugs and turns his back to Auston focusing on the food. Thank god.

 

“You could buy me a car.”

“Nope.”

“A house?”

“Would have to wait for the big contract for that one.”

“Hmm... A puppy?”

“I can't buy you a puppy Auston.”

“You've got Winston.”

“He lives with my parents Auston. We're not here half the year, it wouldn't be fair.”

 

He can tell by the slight whining tone to Mitch's voice that he would love to buy Auston a puppy but to be fair one of them probably does have to be sensible. He's just not used to it being Mitch.

 

“I don't think I can tell you what to get me Mitchy.”

“Why not?”

“This is your _quest_ Mitch. You have to woo me.”

“So I have to figure it out myself?”

 

Auston smiles and nods. This could be a very bad idea knowing Mitch but it feels important. This courtship ritual is important. It's clearly important to Mitch but more than that it's going to be _good_ for Auston. It's not that he feels that Mitch has to earn his trust. He already trusts Mitch. Totally. But having this time to get used to each other, to make sure it's right before jumping into things, that's what Auston needs. It's not like he hadn't liked Mitch before all this. It's not like he hadn't thought Mitch was _hot_ before all this but he can't deny that finding out they fit so well together makes it feel like fate. And that Mitch accepts him, doesn't judge him o think less of him for being a sub is _helping_ him. He wants to be okay with being a sub. It won't be easy but if this is what he's going to be for life then he needs to be happy with it. And he's never happier than when he's with Mitch. Mitch doesn't need to know that yet but Auston is pretty sure about this. He knows a lot of people would think he's too young for this sort of commitment but neutrals never understand. That's what he's been told anyway. It's intense what he feels for Mitch and it's _serious_ just because that's the nature of this sort of relationship. He can't explain it well. He just _knows._ He doesn't feel like he should have to justify it to other people.

 

Mitch is weird. That's not really news but Mitch is _being_ weird. He keeps just staring at the side of Auston's face all the time: at the rink, on the ice and in the locker room, hanging out at home, lunch with the guys. It's stressing Auston out. He hopes Mitch isn't struggling with the gift. He's not an easy person to buy for. That's what his mom says anyway. He knows he doesn't exactly have conventional taste. Mitch hates the Harambe sweatshirt and the ripped jeans. The matching fedoras and mackintoshes had been Mitch's idea. But they are a crazy good match so he thought Mitch would find this easy. He thought this whole courtship thing was going to be a breeze. If Mitch is struggling he could give him a tip though? No one was checking to see if they cheated, right? Unless was that Marty's job as one of the witnesses? Shit, would they have to like pass a test or something? He should have paid more attention when Marty had explained it. Or asked some questions. Or done anything other than call Mitch straight away as soon as he found out he could. But whatever, it's chill.

 

Auston is so caught up in his thoughts he barely even notice when he walks round a corner in the ACC and stumbles upon Mitch and Marty having a hushed conversation.

 

“I've got to get this right Marty.”

  
Auston stops suddenly. He retreats to the edge of the corridor. He knows he shouldn't eavesdrop but equally he doesn't care. If Mitch is struggling with this he wants to know. And Mitch isn't telling him so drastic times and all that.

 

“Well yeah, but he's not going to reject you if you get it wrong.”

“But I've been such a bad dom for him Marty and I really don't know what I'm doing and he's so precious and I can't fuck that up.”

“You haven't been a bad dom. It's a difficult situation and you are both new at this. He understands that.”

“I just want him to be happy he chose me.”

“Mitch.”

“I'm not stupid Marty, he's the gold standard of subs and I'm...”

 

Mitch's voice cracks and Auston just wants to charge round the corner wrap him up, hold him and reassure him. He feels a tug in his heart at the thought that Mitch doesn't realise how good he is. He's everything and he should know that. But Auston can't do anything without revealing that he is listening in. Fuck.

 

“He could have _anyone._ And he picked me and I'm not dumb enough to not realise that it's because I'm the only one who knew. So I need to prove myself worthy of him.”

“Kid. You need to talk to him.”

“Urgh, that's what I've been saying to him.”

 

Marty laughed.

 

“It's a two way street Mitch.”

 

There's a short silence and Auston panics for a second that they're finished and about to walk round the corner and discover him.

 

“I have the idea for the perfect gift I just can't really get it.”

“Why?”

 

Mitch snorts.

 

“Do you know a subtle way to get someones' measurements?”

“Don't the team have them?”

“And you think they'll give them to me?”

“Just make up some bullshit about needing it for a gift.”

“So just tell them the truth?”

“Leave out the courtship bit but come on, neutrals are completely stupid to this sort of thing. Everyone loves you they'll give it to you.”

“That actually might work!”

“I'm not your mentor for nothing.”

 

Auston's heart swells. It's a cliché for sure but all he ever feels these days is cliché. He doesn't care.

He has to make a pretty quick escape when he realises Marty and Mitch are done and finds himself sitting in the locker room half dressed grinning widely. So widely in fact Willy evidently notices.

 

“What's got you so...”

  
Willy gestures vaguely at Auston's face tilting his head in question.

 

“Just feeling good Willy.”

“Your face is weird.”

 

Auston snorts and returns to actually dressing himself for practice. It's muscle memory by now and doesn't need his entire focus so he is still acutely aware of Willy studying him.

 

“It's called a smile dumbass.”

 

Zach whips Willy in the face with a questionable towel and Auston can't help but crack up at the indignant horror etched into Willy's expression.

 

“Matts doesn't smile.”

“Evidence to the contrary, bro.”

 

Willy mutters something under his breath which Auston is pretty sure is just him repeating Zach's words.

 

“I'm happy, it's a good day, man.”

“It's practice. Morning practice. You're never _happy_ at morning practice. Mitch's coffee hasn't had time to kick in yet.”

 

Auston just shrugs.

 

“Is there a _girl_?”

 

He freezes. How the fuck does he get out of this one? Mitch is in his stall but he's far enough away that he wouldn't have heard the comment. It's just one liney to another, nothing strange. But Auston's being weird now not responding for so long and it would probably have been chill if he'd laughed it off but it's probably too late for that and he doesn't really _want_ to have to deny that it's Mitch that's making him all smiley but like it's not a _girl_ but it's _someone,_ his someone and... Fuck. Breathe.

 

“Nah, no girl man.”

“So you just, what, abandoned the chill aesthetic?”

“Matts isn't really that chill. He just hides it in front of _you._ ”

 

Auston looks up at Mitch fully dressed in front of him. He still looks small even with all his pads on and standing in skates. Nobody would call Mitch imposing but there's something about him standing in front of Auston whilst he's sitting that reminds him of being on his knees for Mitch. It's pretty inconvenient really to feel that twisting feeling low in his gut in the middle of the locker room.

 

Willy and Zach are just laughing taking Mitch's chirps at face value. Perfect.

 

Auston lifts his head and full on beams at Mitch and turns his ridiculous grin on Willy and Zach and they fall about themselves laughing. Mitch is smirking, though not in amusement but definitely at Auston's expression. He must be able to see the heat in Auston's eyes. It's so not a good time, in front of the guys and with practice ahead. Auston is going to have to wait so long to do something about the pent up feeling.

 

It takes Mitch two weeks, TWO WEEKS, out of a month timeline to present Auston with his gift and frankly by that point he had thought Mitch had given up. They had still been hanging out and Auston had knelt for him twice. But nothing more. Now that they were courting Mitch was even more strict about crossing any lines. Apparently it wouldn't be proper to do anything other than kneeling whilst they were courting. Auston had been trying not to let that get to him to varying levels of success. He _wants_ Mitch and Mitch is supposed to be 'wooing' him yet he won't even _touch_ him. It fucking sucks.

 

Mitch totally knew Auston was getting impatient. There's only so many baleful looks Auston can throw Mitch's way before he knows Auston's being pathetic. Whatever. This isn't very 'wooing' of Mitch.

 

But as Auston opens the door to find Mitch holding a large brown package half obscuring his face Auston forgets all the whining and complaining he had wanted to do and felt pure anticipation grip him instantly.

 

“Is that what I think it is?”

“My dick in a box?”

 

Auston rolls his eyes but Mitch can't see that so he lets out a super dramatic sigh instead.

 

“You're a child.”

“Yup. You going to let me in or what?”

 

Auston steps aside and lets Mitch bustle passed him and into the living room. Auston closes the door and follows him slowly. Mitch puts the parcel down on the couch and turns back to Auston taking his hands.

 

“I've got to say some stuff then you get the gift okay?”

“But...”

“No buts!”

“It's a cute butt!”

 

It's Mitch's turn to roll his eyes and he somehow manages to go cross-eyed half way through and just looks deranged. Auston giggles. How is he even so into this ridiculous person? Why does that work for him?

 

“Auston Matthews, as your suitor I must present you with a gift to demonstrate your worth to me. Though no money can truly signify your true value too me I humbly offer you this gift so you might know the depth of my desire and commitment. Please accept this as a token of my affection and a symbol of our shared connection.”

 

Mitch deadpans the delivery and Auston can tell he wants to laugh or roll his eyes again. Auston doesn't feel like laughing; he can feel his palms sweating where Mitch is holding them. He bites his bottom lip looking down and breaking eye contact and tries to tamp down on the knotty feeling in his gut.

 

“Am I supposed to say I do?”

 

Now Mitch laughs, throwing his head back in that super extra way he does. Auston figures it's a front. He's nervous. It's a pretty big deal to Mitch and Auston knows he's isn't easy to please.

 

“Shut up and just open it.”

 

Mitch doesn't hand the parcel to Auston; it's a bit too bulky for that. But he just sort of gestures at it lamely and ignores Auston's raised eyebrow.

 

“Mitchy, you know I'm going to like it right?”

 

Mitch tugs at the hem of his shirt refusing to meet Auston's eyes. He's dressed up, Auston realises, not like Auston in sweats and a t-shirt. He's wearing a nice pair of navy blue chinos – ironed – and a pale blue button down shirt. He looks _nice_. He looks exactly like the kind of wholesome Canadian boy he could introduce to his mother. He'd hopefully get to leave out the bit where he's his dom but whatever. He's _fond_ of Mitch. So fucking fond.

 

“I hope so. But maybe...”

“Nope. I'll like it because it's from you.”

 

Mitch looks up at that at smiles weakly.

 

Auston moves the parcel onto the table where he doesn't have to bend down to reach it. He turns to Mitch and pulls him by the belt loop to crowd in behind Auston as he begins to open the parcel. He unties the white string from around it and carefully begins to peel away the parcel tape holding the brown paper together. Mitch huffs in frustration and grips tighter at Auston's hip. He tries to hook his chin over Auston's shoulder but can't quite reach. Auston has the ends open now and manages to pull away the brown paper to leave... another layer of wrapping. He wants to be annoyed but it's like every game of pass the parcel when he was younger; the excitement, the thrill of being closer yet thwarted one more time. The pale grey tissue paper is an easy barrier to overcome and only tears slightly as Auston tugs at the seal. The thin sheets get pushed back a little less carefully than the first layer and Auston sets eyes on the most beautiful fabric he thinks he's ever seen. It's a deep red colour, like wine, with a delicate floral pattern embroidered in black thread. He reaches into the parcel and unfolds the garment in wonder; it's the most stunning suit jacket he's ever seen. The lapels are in black velvet as too are the pockets. The buttons are gold filled with a dark red-coloured stone that sparkles as it catches the light.

 

“It's beautiful.”

 

Auston gasps his voice hoarse and scratchy. The label says it is bespoke. Handmade in Italy. It can't have been cheap. Fuck cheap it must have been seriously expensive. He can feel Mitch pulling him in closer as Auston draws up to his full height holding the jacket in front of him in awe.

 

“Try it on.”

 

Auston pauses to look down and the t-shirt but Mitch just nudges him and steps backwards. So Auston carefully undoes the buttons and hands the jacket to Mitch. He swears Mitch practically breaks his face with the width of his grin as he holds the jacket out proudly allowing Auston to slid his arms into it easily. The lining is silk and feels cool against his skin as Mitch lifts the jacket onto his shoulders and smoothes it down. Auston clasps one button closed and holds his arms out for Mitch to assess.

 

“So?”

 

Mitch's grin falls and he gets a seriously heated look in his eyes.

 

“You like?”

 

Mitch groans softly.

 

“You have no idea.”

 

Auston smiles. He heads towards his bedroom to look himself over in the floor length mirror. He runs his hands down the soft fabric and admires his reflection. It fits him perfectly somehow managing not to pull over his chest and shoulders but sit just right. It's perfect. Fuck. And it's just flashy enough to be just his style but show off just how good he looks in a suit. None of this off the rack stuff for him anymore.

 

Auston turns to see Mitch stood in the doorway shamelessly checking him out.

 

“So do _you_ like it?”

“I fucking love it Mitch. It's perfect.”

 

He looks over his shoulder at the back of the jacket where it's lack of vent skims over his sizeable hockey _ass_ ets.

 

“It must have been expensive...”

“It's not polite to comment on the cost of the gift Auston. It's supposed to be expensive.”

“As long as you didn't bankrupt yourself to buy me the best ever suit jacket. Because if you did I might not be able to give it back.”

 

Mitch snorts.

 

“It's bespoke Matts you can't return it.”

“I'm not returning it.”

“Good.”

 

“And it doesn't matter how much it was Matts. I want to spend my money on you. I like seeing you look good.”

 

Auston smiles. He feels a soft, warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest that overpowers the low-key buzz of attraction. He's so far gone on Mitch it's not even funny. He's just wants the next two weeks to be over so they can be official.

 

“Well I waited long enough.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I had to get it made in Italy and usually there's like a lead time of twelve weeks so I had to pay a bit extra.”

 

Auston raises an eyebrow.

 

“Still less than my truck, bro.”

 

It was probably close though. Auston can read the subtext. He should care. He should say it's too much but... Mitch likes him that much. He could have half-assessed it. Got him a stick or something. He's not lying when he said he would have liked anything from Mitch. But this. This is beyond anything he'd ever dreamed of. And Mitch had had it made especially for him. Because that is how much he cares for and values him. So Auston's not going to feel guilty. Mitch has the money, and if he doesn't he can always borrow Auston's.

 

Mitch is still across the room when he fixes him with a very serious look.

 

“The delay does mean we are going to have to speed up the rest of the process.”

“That's cool, Mitch, let's get it done. We've done matching and gifting, what's next?”

“Next is demonstration.”

“What's that?”

“I have to demonstrate my proficiency.”

 

Auston can't help the smirk pull at his lips as he quirks his eyebrow in what he hopes is a seductive way.

 

“Do we _finally_ get to...”

“No.” Auston sighs heavily. “It's just a demo.”

“So are you good to go with that? We could do that pretty soon right?”

“Yeah, that's not a problem. But it's what's next...”

 

Auston tries to remember Marty's hurried explanation of the steps. What was it...

 

“Presentation!”

“Yeah... are you sure you're okay with that?”

“I don't know what that is Mitch.”

 

Mitch looks shocked and twisted in a way Auston would have to call anguish. He strides over to him taking his elbow in his hand and pulling him into Auston's body.

 

“What's wrong Mitch?”

“Marty didn't explain it to you? I thought you knew.”

“What, what is it?”

 

Mitch clearly doesn't want to tell him. He's scared.

 

“You're freaking me out now Mitch. I told you, I'm in this. Just tell me.”

“Presentation is supposed to be a... an introduction.”

“To who?”

“You introduce me to your parents.”

 

Auston laughs.

 

“You've met my parents before Mitch it's no big deal.”

 

Mitch lets out a strange, strangled noise and ducks his head knocking his forehead into Auston's chest where his next words are muffled.

 

“You're supposed to introduce me to your parents as your dom.”

 

Auston freezes. Fuck. This courtship thing was just supposed to be between the two of them. Well and Marty and Syd but that was accidental. His parents didn't even know he was a sub. He had no idea how dynamic traditional they were. It just wasn't something they had ever talked about at home. Shit, he knows this courtship thing was serious but introducing Mitch to his parents, that's like a solid long-term commitment kind of thing. He's not sure he's ready for that. He wraps his arms around Mitch and presses a kiss into his hair. Fuck, he's ready for everything with Mitch. But he has no idea if he's ready to tell his parents the truth. What would they think of him? Would they be ashamed to have a sub for a son? It wasn't something anyone really said overtly but it was there, sons were doms and daughters were subs. It was fucked up and it totally wasn't true but... people still thought that way. Especially in the states down south. He'd heard some horror stories. Mitch always talks like Canada's different. That it's some sort of dynamic utopia where subs are accepted. But Mitch's junior team was in Ontario and they were pretty shitty about the whole sub team. But maybe that's just hockey. Hockey's different. Fact of the matter is that statistics show more and more of the population are being tested as neutral and education and understanding is falling behind.

 

But it was his parents. He'd have to tell them eventually. It's clear to him his plan is for this Mitch thing to be pretty permanent. He might be 19 but he's not an idiot and he knows how he feels. This isn't a fling or some sort of dynamic thing only. It's real. Mitch was his friend first. And he liked him before he realised they could match dynamically. So, yeah, if all goes to plan his parents would have to find out eventually. There would be too many things to explain otherwise. His parents weren't dumb hockey players and they wouldn't be fooled by their pretence. To anyone who _knows_ it's apparently fairly obvious which way the dynamic goes in their relationship. According to Syd anyway.

 

“Shit Mitch, I'm not sure I'm ready for that.”

 

The words are out of his mouth before he really plans them. Mitch tries to pull away but Auston just tightens his grip.

 

“It's okay Mitch. We're still going to tell them.”

“You shouldn't have to do this for a stupid ritual.”

 

Auston pauses. It's true. There's nothing forcing them to follow this ritual. And like, they could just skip this step, would that make it any less real? Did anyone monitor these courtship things?

 

“I want you to think about it.”

 

Auston relaxes his grip so Mitch can pull back and look him in the eye. He seems sad. And maybe a little bit resigned. It grips at Auston's heart and he feels compelled to do anything in his power to get that look off Mitch's face.

 

“But...”

“No, Auston. This is important. We shouldn't have done this if you didn't properly understand the steps. We've rushed into this and... I'm sorry, I keep messing up and...”

“It's not your fault Mitch. I'm the one who rushed. I'm the one who asked. I was just so excited and so sure. I'm still sure. I'd do it for you.”

“I know you would. But I need you to make sure you are okay with it because otherwise... Just it could fuck you up and you might end up resenting me or... I don't know. But I know this is something you shouldn't rush.”

“But we've only got two weeks left!” Auston whines.

“It'll be okay. Just think about it and let me know.”

 

Auston huffs as Mitch turns to leave. He feels like shit. He knows there's some dynamic part of him that hates upsetting his dom, he just wants to _please_ Mitch. It's because of this that he knows Mitch is right. He can't let his dynamic side push him into something he's not ready to do. He hears the soft click of his door closing and he sits down abruptly on his bed.

 

He doesn't know what to do and he just feels empty. If he's not ready and he lets what he has with Mitch slip through his fingers he'll be devastated. And he's got no idea how it would affect his hockey. But how is he meant to find the words to tell his parents this. It was awkward enough to have to talk about anyway without whatever lingering messed up feelings he still sometimes finds bubbling under the surface. Like when it's an instinctual reaction rather than thought out his deep, base brain still recoils at the idea of submission. At least he's working on accepting it. Mitch is helping. Auston laughs almost bitterly to himself; that could be the tagline to his life since Toronto – Mitch is helping. And that's it isn't it? He doesn't have to do this alone. Mitch is helping.

 

He reaches for his phone with a sudden courage and hits dial on the second number in his speed dial. His mother picks up on the third ring.

 

“Papi? Qué tal?”

“Bien, mama. Muy bien.”

“It's late, papi, why are you calling? Are you alright, is Mitch alright?”

 

Auston laughs softly.

 

“Yeah Mitch is good. So am I.” Auston pauses his courage deserting him when faced with the reality of speaking to his mother. This might be easier over the phone. He wouldn't have to see her face.

 

“How are Bre and Alex?”

“You don't talk?”

“I'm busy, mama.”

“Hmm, too busy for your family?”

“Sorry, mama.”

“Your sister had her test last month. You didn't even remember did you?”

“Alex got tested? I thought she didn't want to. And she didn't have to.”

“Well she apparently changed her mind. She didn't give me a reason.”

“So...”

“Oh so you want me to give you the result.”

“Obviously.”

 

There's a brief silence on the line and Auston's holds his breath.

 

“She got dominant.”

“Fuck.”

“Language, young man! Just because you're away living in Toronto doesn't mean you can speak like that to me.”

“Sorry, mama.”

“Too right. Anyway, it was pretty much expected.”

“Really? It's still pretty rare isn't it?”

“Not as much as you'd think. And anyway it's always been that way in my family. It's more common that way round in Mexico.”

“What do you mean always been that way...”

“Well with my siblings, my cousins, my parents and...” she softens her voice and Auston knows what's coming with some sort of sick premonition feeling the horror in the split second pause “with you, papi.”

 

Auston doesn't say anything. He can't. He hadn't been 100% sure he was going to tell his mom about himself when he called. But he'd wanted to. It turns out she already knew.

 

“But how... my test came back dom?”

“I always knew Auston. It's not that easy to hide. Not from someone who knows you. I raised you Auston. I know.”

“And you're okay with it?”

 

He hates the shake in his voice and closes his eyes holding his breath as he waits for her answer through the pause.

 

“Of course I am, papi. I love you. I don't care about any of that. It doesn't change who you are to me.”

 

Auston can feel the tears staining his cheeks. Tears of relief. Of happiness.

 

“Does dad?”

“Yes. He knows. And he doesn't care either.”

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“It's a delicate thing. I know we've never made a big deal out of it your father's family are pretty traditional, as are mine, but we wanted you just to have the chance to be kids without any expectations on you. Then with hockey and everything that came with that... We always loved you and always will. We were surprised by the result...”

“I faked it.”

“Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.”

“It's okay, mama. It's really okay. I've met someone. And we're courting.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, it's pretty great actually. I'm happy.”

“You're playing Arizona next week...”

“We're at the presentation stage. Well pretty much.”

 

Auston feels his cheeks heat. He really doesn't want to discuss the idea of Mitch's demonstration with his mother.

 

“I'm so happy for you, papi, and I can't wait to meet your suitor.”

“Do you know who it is?”

“Of course I do, Auston. I'm not an idiot.”

 

He laughs wetly and strokes a hand down his silk covered chest.

 

“I love him, mama, I really do.”

 

Somehow this very purposeful pronoun use feels like less of a revelation than the sub thing. It's just another part of who he is that his mother probably figured out before he did. And she didn't care.

 

“I love him too Auston. I love how happy he makes you. I can't wait to meet him properly. Formally.”

 

He takes a deep breath.

 

“As my dom.”

“Yes, Auston, as your dom.”

 

He can almost feel an ache in his cheeks for how wide his smile is. He feels like a weight has evaporated out of his soul. Like a vice has been removed from his heart and suddenly he knows what it's like to like unencumbered by secrets. True most the world including his teammates don't know and they could all still be shitty but with Mitch _and_ his family behind him he figures he'll be okay.

 

So when he finally hangs up with his mom after listening to all the family _and_ neighbourhood gossip he switches into his snapchat and takes a quick selfie. Then takes another after removing the t-shirt from underneath the jacket. There are tear tracks on his cheeks but an unmistakable light and joy to his expression. He send it to Mitch with a simple caption:

 

“They know. I'm all in.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter than the last one but it was a natural dividing place and I wanted to get this put up today. Hope you like it.

Auston's phone is ringing. That's what drags him out of a blissful sleep and a cute af dream of Mitch and him adopting a puppy. So it's not his fault he is grumpy when he answers.

 

“What the fuck?”

“That's not a nice way to answer the phone Matts.”

“Fuck off Mitch.”

 

Auston drags his hand over his face scrunching his eyes closed tightly. His alarm hasn't gone off yet which means he doesn't have to be up. So sue him for wishing he could still be asleep.

 

“I have news.”

“News that couldn't have waited until you pick me up for practice?”

 

Mitch pauses. Auston can't help a bit of a chuckle at that. It's pretty clear Mitch hadn't thought of that. He has a tendency to get carried away in his excitement and forget important things like the time and Auston's sleep needs.

 

“I didn't realise...”

“I'm awake now Mitchy, what did you want?”

“Well, I had a call from Davo and he wants to meet you.”

 

The happy, giggly tone Mitch has even at this time of the morning shouldn't still surprise Auston. But, fuck, the guy is like sunshine. Just _on._

 

“I've met Connor McDavid before, Mitch. I played with him.”

“Urgh, the less said about Team North America the better.”

“So...”

“Well, the point is Davo doesn't know it's you he wants to meet. But he figured out that I'm seeing someone and...”

“You told him?”

“No Auston”

 

His tone is patient and placating not angry and that just makes Auston feel shitty. He is working on not always assuming the worst and, like, trusting Mitch properly. Add that to the long list of stuff that Auston just isn't good at. Maybe he traded it in for hockey skills.

 

“He _figured out_ that I'm seeing someone. He doesn't even know that it's a dynamic thing and he doesn't have to.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“So does he want to go out for dinner or something?”

“Nah, man. Davo and you out in Toronto would be a nightmare. He was going to come over mine and asked if I could invite my person to hang.”

“Wait so Connor McDavid wants to _vet_ me?”

 

Mitch giggles far too brightly for the time and Auston groans. Why.

 

“He's very protective you know. Stromer's going to be worse.”

“I have to meet Strome in Arizona too?”

“Hey, I have to meet your parents. Dylan Strome might be a complete asshole but he is not as scary as meeting someone's parents.”

 

Auston is quiet for a moment. In all the stress of thinking about telling his parents about himself he'd never really considered how scary it would for Mitch to meet his parents like that. He keeps forgetting that Mitch isn't super experienced at this kind of thing either. He always just seems to know what to do.

 

“Mitchy, can we talk about this more later? When you pick me up?”

“Okay. See you soon.”

 

Auston is woken for a second time by the sound of his front door slamming shut. He groans. That means Mitch is here and he absolutely is going to have to get up. Glancing at his alarm he sees that he has somehow managed to sleep through it and the fear of that realisation propels him up and out of bed.

 

He rushes to get dressed throwing whatever semi-presentable clothing he can find. Mitch comes to investigate why he hasn't emerged from his bedroom for breakfast yet leaning himself against the doorframe.

 

“So am I coming _out_ out to Connor McDavid tonight or just a little bit out?”

 

Auston just kind of flings it out there whilst looking for his socks. It takes a few seconds of silence for Auston to realise something is wrong. He pauses his search for a moment to look up at Mitch in the doorway.

 

“You okay?”

 

Mitch nods dumbly.

 

“What did I say?”  
“You're okay with that?”

 

Auston shrugs.

 

“It's just... It's Connor McDavid. He's your friend and you trust him. I want to meet him as your boyfriend if nothing else. I'm proud of that.”

“He might not understand the dom/sub thing that well.”

“He's neutral?”  
“Yeah. He keeps it pretty private so not too many people know.”

“But he knew about you...”

“We were close, I confided in him and really it was the obvious solution when you think about it. Exactly the kind of thing only a neutral would see though. We can sometimes get so caught up in dynamics.”

“Davo knows you're a dom.”

“Yeah.”

“So if he knows we're dating...”

“He'll know everything.”

“Yeah.”

 

Auston sits down on the edge of the bed. Mitch doesn't move. He's looking down so Auston can't see his face. But he's got to be disappointed or maybe even angry that Auston is still unsure about all this. It's not a lie, he is proud to be Mitch's boyfriend, to be his sub. But telling people is a big step. He desperately wants to make Mitch happy but he can't do this just for Mitch. He has to be okay with it too. He can't end up resenting Mitch if things go badly and he wasn't ready.

 

It was okay with Marty and Syd. But there are dunamics. Connor isn't. The hockey world might think he's the second coming of something but he's still just a 19 year old kid who doesn't really understand dunamics and Auston has to trust this guy with his most vulnerable secret. That's asking a lot. He looks back at Mitch again. This isn't something he can ask Mitch to do. This isn't something he can defer to his dom for. He has to make this choice.

 

“Do you trust him Mitch?”

 

Mitch looks up and Auston can see the nerves in his eyes. He's biting the corner of his lip and shoving his hands into the pouch of his hoodie.

 

“Yeah, I trust him completely.”

 

Auston nods.

 

“You think he'll be okay?”

“He doesn't always understand dunamic stuff. He'll probably be surprised and he might ask a lot of questions. Some might be a little impolite...”

“He won't be a complete dick aboout it.”

“Yeah.”

“And he wouldn't say anything to anyone?”

“What? No!”

 

Mitch moves over and sits next to Ausotn on the bed. He takes on of Auston's hands between both of his own. It's nice. It's reassuring. It's Mitch.

 

“I trust you.”

 

Mitch doesn't say anything just squeezes his hand tighter and leans his shoulder into Auston's/

 

“So...”

“So let's do it.”

 

Mitch beams. The full one. He turns it directly on Auston and his chest tightens. He wants to kiss him so much. But instead he just smiles back feeling more than a little goofy.

 

 

 

 

Practice was a bit of a non-event after the enormity of the morning. And after it was more of the same routine. By now their pre-game routine was like clockwork, Auston didn't even have to think about it. Mitch couoked them a pre-game meal and then they settled for a pre-game nap.

 

This bit was the same as it has always been. Auston's flat on his back with mitchs pread out n top of him his head tucked right up under Auston's chin.

 

Waking up with Mitch has to be one of Auston's favourite things/ He's warm and clinging to Auston still making soft snuffling sounds, small puffs of breath tickling Auston's neck.

 

Auston feels good, he feels settled. And he knows going into the game that it's going to be a good one. And he's not wrong. He even ends up getting a goal on the power play with Mitch providing the assist.

 

So Auston's very happy through getting stripped and showered. He jokes around with Willy and Zach. It doesn't even occur to him to feel nervous while he is still high on the victory. He is mostly dressed when he manages to catch Mitch's eyes across the dressing room. There's nothing but pride in his eyes and he smiles back at Auston. There's a hint of heat in the way he rakes his eyes over Auston's body and he hates that he won't do anything about it. Yet.

 

Auston's still in a remarkably good mood as Mitch drives them home singing along to the dumb playlist he'd created especially for driving home after a win. Connor is already outside waiting when they pull into Mitch's condo parking facility. He looks more than a little confused when Auston gets out of the car. Mitch just smiles and opens the door leading both Connor and Auston upstairs and into his condo.

 

Auston makes himself at home sitting in one of the barstools at the breakfast bar. Mitch moves their bags into the utility room before busying himself in the kitchen preparing their usual post-game snack. Auston just watches him move; smooth and nimble as always, confidently owning the space. Auston sees it now; the dominance of the situation. How Mitch is totally in control of himself and Auston, caring for him, providing for him. And it more than works for Auston. He loves how he doesn't have to think about these things, he can just let go of all the rpessure hockey brings because he knows Mitch is looking after him. He's playing better than he ever has and off-ice he's happier than he ever has been. He never thought he'd get to have this. He had always assumed he would have to hide at least until retirement. Maybe forever. Now he has everything. More than he ever thought possible.

 

“What's going on here Mitchy?”

 

Auston's reverie is interrupted by Connor's cold tone and steely glare. Mitch pauses where he's arranging their post-game snack in front of Auston. He looks tentativelyback at Auston who nods happily.

 

“So you know I'm seeing someone...”

“Yeah...”

“It's Auston. He, I... I mean, we are... dating.”

 

Connor doesn't look shocked at all. He doesn't look happy either, in fact he looks decidedly grim, annoyed even. Which, Auston was not expecting that. Connor didn't even know any of the sub stuff yet. He wasn't supposed to freak out about this. Auston tries to catch Mitch's eye desperately but he is seemingly trying to bore a hole in Connor McDavid's head by sheer force of will alone.

 

“What is this Mitch?”

 

Connor spreads his hands gesturing towards Mitch, Auston and the table between them.

 

“Do you have a problem Davo?”

 

Mitch is fronting up to Connor now, puffing up and folding his arms across his chest.

 

“Yeah of course I've got a fucking problem Mitch. You don't have to do this. No one gets to force you to sub – not even Auston Matthews. I watched you go through all that shit in London and I won't let anyone do it to you again.”

“It's not like that Connor, it's...”

“No Auston, you don't get to speak for him. This is bullshit. I expected better from you. This is so messed up.”

 

Auston snorts, rolling his eyes. Mitch doesn't look amused though.

 

“You can't speak to him like that Connor. You should apologise.”

 

Connor takes a step back shocked at the cool agression laced through Mitch's words. Auston can't help but smile at the power move from Mitch. Connor just looks helplessly back at Mitch. Auston chuckles, he's floundering, Connor had gone from righteous anger to completely lost.

 

“Mitchy isn't subbing for me.”

 

Connor and Mitch both look to Auston, Connor in confusion, Mitch in something approaching awe.

 

“Sure looks like service right here.”

 

Of course Connor, the neutral, wouldn't get the subtlety of this. They probably should have thought this through in more detail but fuck Connor for assuming Auston would do that to Mitch.

 

“No. This is Mitch caring for me. As my dom.”

 

Auston picks up a parsnip chip and throws it in his mouth smirking to Mitch while Connor tries to process what he's just heard.

 

“He's your dom.”

“Yes.”

“So that means you're...”

 

Auston sighs.

 

“I'm a sub, Davo. Mitch and me, we're courting. It's the real thing.”

 

Mitch smiles proudly and hands Auston the bottle of gatorade. Connor watches the movement carefully.

 

“Mitch?”

“It's true, Davo.”

“Fuck, sorry, I just never thought...”

 

Connor doesn't finish that thought balking at the snarl Mitch turns on him or at Auston's glare.

 

“Sorry. Again.”

“God, Davo, you're such a neutral stereotype. No subtlety.”

 

Connor nods seriously wringing his hands and shuffling from one foot to the other.

 

“No hard feelings. I made the same mistake at first.”

“I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.”

“It's okay Connor. I know about what happened in London, so I get why you'd go there.”

 

Connor nodded.

 

“This is good though. I'm happy for you.”

 

Connor's smiling now and so is Mitch.

 

“So like, the sub thing isn't exactly common knowledge. Pretty exclusive club actually so if you fcan keep that to yourself that would be great.”

“Of course, I would never!”

“Not even Stromer.”

“Sure Mitch, I promise, not even Stromer.”

 

Connor pauses clearly with something more to say.

 

“Are you going to tell him when you're down in Arizona next week?”

 

Mitch looks at Auston who just shrugs.

 

“Maybe.” Mitch replies carefully “We're seeing Auston's parents so it depends if we have time.”

“You're already at presentation?”

“You know the courtship steps?”  
“Of course, I still took dynaamic education seriously.”

 

Auston roll his eyes. Connor is so earnest. Auston had assumed it was an act for the media when they met at the World Cup but it seems that Connor McDavid really is that serious. So serious he could probably give Jonathan Toews a run for his money.

 

“It's pretty serious then?”

 

Mitch nods dumbly grinning widely.

 

“Yep. He's perfect.”

 

Mitch sticks his tounge out at the jibe and Auston scrunches his face in imitatino of the MitchTM grin. Connor barks out a laugh shaking his head.

 

“Fortnite?”

“Let's do it.”

“You going down, Mitch.”

“He's really not.”

“Yet.”

 

Connor's look of horror is almost as entertaining as Mitch's cackle. But Auston ends up with a lapful of Mitch Marner so he calls it a win.

 

“So I have a few questions...”

 


	10. Chapter 10

Mitch seems extra excited today. Auston is suspicious. It's their first off day in what feels like weeks. After the ordeal that was telling Connor McDavid about their relationship he just wants to chill out. Maybe play some NHL17 or COD, let Mitch look after him. Just recharge their batteries before the looming stress of the presentation.

 

But it definitely seems Mitch has something planned. He seems a little nervous and jumpy. Mitch had cooked them his special breakfast of huge stack of pancakes lathering them with fresh fruit and greek yoghurt. He feels like this means there's going to be another step in the courting ritual. He did read up on this, he really did, but there was so much dry and boring information not a whole lot sank in. He honestly thought being in a dynamic traditional relationship would be more exciting and dirty than boring and ridiculous. He thinks they only have a couple left before Mitch will finally ask to be his exclusive, full time dom. To be completely honest, whilst the pomp and circumstance of the ritual has been fun, Auston is completely over waiting. Mitch is his and he needs to claim him.

 

His possessiveness is something that had surprised them both. Auston had thought it was a very dominant trait but Mitch had assured him it's actually pretty common amongst submissives. When they become part of an exclusive dynamic compatible relationship they can be very territorial about their dom – unless it is explicitly negotiated beforehand. And even prolonged conversation or platonic contact with another sub could find the dom in hot water. The sub controls sex after all. Auston doesn't share. He monopolises an awful lot of Mitch's time but he doesn't have a problem with that and neither does Mitch. They were pretty much that co-dependent before they started courting so no one has noticed anything different. And there will definitely be no negotiated sharing. Ever.

 

Auston is ready to say yes and has been for a while now. He has given up too much self-examination. He still struggles to fully eliminate the negative thoughts and feelings that his sub nature triggers. But it's getting better and having Mitch as his official dom can surely only hurry along the process.

 

When Mitch finally finishes the washing up and has run out of things to distract him he turns to find Auston curled up in the corner of the couch. Mitch drags his duffel over to stand in front of Auston. Auston looks up at Mitch who is avoiding his eyes. Mitch pulls what looks like a knotted rope and presents it to Auston with a grin. Full, lights on, MitchTM grin.

 

“Er... Marns, I'm gonna need some help here.”

 

The grin doesn't even dim as Auston just holds the ropes in his hands. Mitch reaches out, pulls Auston to his feet and re-arranges the tangle of ropes and knots into something more recognisable. Auston swallows and looks Mitch in the eye.

 

“It's a harness, isn't it?”

 

Mitch nods clasping his hands together over his chest like a kid on Christmas. Auston feels a heat rush through his body as he examines the intricate knots and imagines where they would go on his body.

 

“You want me to wear this?”

 

Mitch nods. He's practically bouncing. He's such a dork. A perfect dork. Auston's dork.

 

“I would tie it onto you.”

“Tell me.”

 

Auston keeps hold of Mitch's eye contact and he knows Mitch will be able to see his pupils blown wide and know it's because of him. Fuck, this is hot.

 

“I would tie this onto you from scratch while you knelt in front of me.”

 

Mitch pauses.

 

“Keep going.”

“I'd have make sure all the knots are in the right place and not too tight or too loose. It would be slow. These knots here would be right over your nipples so that every time you moved you would feel it there.”

“And this?”

 

Auston can tell his voice is scratchy and rough but this is really getting to him. Mitch knows Auston likes the ropes and he's _practiced_. Auston can just imagine Mitch sitting in Matt Martin's lounge practicing tying these knots time and time again until he was good enough to do it for Auston. And this was his demonstration – his example of his proficiency in something Auston liked – showing himself worthy of Auston.

 

“This is where your arms go. They'd be held tight against your back with these strands going around. You wouldn't be able to move them at all but it shouldn't hurt. It should be comfortable.”

“And what would you do with me when you had me tied up and on my knees?”

 

Mitch sighs softly but continues to hold his gaze.

 

“I'd kiss you. And touch you. And when you were begging to be fucked I'd feed you my cock and pull your hair whilst you swallowed me down.”

 

Mitch looks dazed. Auston tilts his head biting his bottom lip and looks up at Mitch from under his lashes.

 

“Would you fuck my throat?”

 

Mitch smiles wickedly. Auston knows he isn't fooled by the innocent act but Mitch likes it too.

 

“If you could take it.”

 

Auston bristles puffing his chest out.

 

“I can take it.”

“Of course you can, Aus. You're such a good sub for me. You would suck my cock so well.”

 

Auston doesn't blush. It's his colouring. He just doesn't blush. He is absolutely not blushing at the words of praise. Mitch never calls him a slut or a whore. Those kind of words just feed into Auston's triggers. But being told he does a good job, that he pleases his dom? Yeah, Auston likes that, he likes it a lot.

 

“What's this bit for?”

 

Mitch's grin turns wolfish, almost predatory.

 

“That's for me to hold onto.”

“Huh?”

“When I'm fucking you from behind, I hold that handle and pull you up and back onto my cock. I'll have you completely at my control trusting me to hold you up and fuck you right. And when you're done I'll cut you free and rub cream on your skin to make sure there aren't any marks.”

“You could come on my face. Like, you know, if that's something you want.”

 

Auston still isn't very good at asking for things he wants. Mitch understands though.

 

“I want to. I want to see you happy and sated and wearing my come.”

 

Auston can't help a small whine escaping his lips. They haven't completed all the steps and Mitch has been very clear about what that means. It means this is going to stay just fantasy. For now.

 

“I swear to God Mitch, as soon as you get round to asking we are doing this.”

“We've got time Aus. We're doing this right. But you like it right?”

“Mitch, it's perfect.”

 

Mitch's grin returns and he pulls Auston in for a bone crushing hug. Another MitchTM.

 

Auston is so keyed up but Mitch just drags him down onto the couch and passes him a controller. Mitch puts COD on first which is so unfair. He knows Auston is awful at COD and given his current state of distraction Mitch wins easily. And laughs at him. But all Auston can think about is the harness that is now on the floor by his feet. They're done with demonstration. That had been one of the best steps. Along with gifting.

 

But presentation was next. They are flying to Arizona tomorrow and after the game the next day they are having dinner with Auston's parents. And Mitch would have to 'present' himself to Auston's parents. He still wasn't entirely sure what that meant. The internet hadn't really provided a consensus. It could be as little as just introducing Mitch to his parents or some weird and elaborate ceremony.

 

Mitch stays the night. It's easier when they both have to be the same place in the morning. And Auston likes sleeping with Mitch. Even if it's just that; sleeping. For now. Mitch curls up into him and Auston likes that he doesn't force him to be the little spoon. He's never liked being the little spoon and Mitch likes being the super cuddly octopus anyway. Mitch probably wouldn't mind being the little spoon but Auston preferred to sleep on his back anyway. Auston likes that he usually wakes up before Mitch and gets to just lie there sleepy and content stroking Mitch's back and feeling his breath soft against Auston's neck.

 

When Mitch finally wakes up he shepherds Auston into the shower retreating from the room before Auston even began to strip. When Auston is done he walks out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist to find two suitcases packed and stacked by the door and a stack of clothes folded on the bed. He pulls on the outfit Mitch has selected for him. He's picked Auston's favourite pair of black jeans with ripped knees, a Rick Owens olive green longline t-shirt and his Balmain quilted biker jacket. It's an _outfit_. It's so his style even if it's not Mitch's. He just knows him so well.

 

Fully dressed and hair just right he leaves the bedroom to find Mitch putting the finishing touches to breakfast. He is dressed in dark blue jeans, with no holes, and a soft looking royal blue coloured sweater, and an apron of course. He turns round to see Auston in the outfit he picked out. Auston does a little twirl for him and Mitch smiles and turns back to the stove.

 

“Eggs will be ready in a second, sit.”

 

After breakfast Mitch carries their bags downstairs and drives them to the plane where they meet their team. Nobody looks particularly surprised that they arrive together. No one comments on them sitting next to each other or them sharing headphones. No one thinks the closeness of their relationship is weird at all. Sometimes these hockey player 'bromances' are so close people don't even notice the difference between the real thing.

 

The flight is long and boring so by the time they reach the hotel Auston just wants to crash. But there is the small matter of being introduced to Dylan Strome as Mitch's sub tonight. He's meeting them at the hotel bar in about ten minutes. Mitch dumps their stuff in the room while Auston waits at the bar. Strome is late but he gets there before Mitch.

 

“Yo, Matts!”

 

Auston rolls his eyes. He has never met Dylan Strome before but his level of familiarity is something Mitch had warned him about.

 

“Hey Dylan.”

 

Dylan wrinkles his nose as he slides into the seat next to Auston.

 

“No one calls me Dylan. Dyls or Stromer are acceptable.”

“Okay.”

“So... you're here to tell me that you and Mitch are fucking right?”

 

Auston almost chokes on his drink before checking over his shoulder to see if anyone could have overheard.

 

“Not here.”

 

He hisses. He grabs Dylan by the elbow and drags him towards the elevator bank. They stand in silence until they get to the room. Mitch is unpacking their cases and hanging up their suits.

 

“Oh sorry, am I late?”

 

Dylan gives Mitch a pointed look. Auston just folds his arms and shrugs.

 

“I might have suggested that you two were fucking in the earshot of like one person. It wasn't loud. Whatever, I'm sorry.”

“Thank you. And we're not.”

“Not what?”

“Fucking.”

 

Dylan snorts and throws himself onto one of the beds clasping his hands together behind his head.

 

“Whatever you have to tell me just shoot. I know it's something big because Davo has been weird ever since you guys played each other and met up. He wouldn't tell me anything about it which is weird because it's Davo.”

 

Mitch sighs.

 

“Jesus, Dylan, could you be any more needy.”

“You told Connor first.”

“We played Edmonton first.”

“Whatever.”

“So you don't want to know then?”

  
Dylan sits bolt upright and glares at Mitch.

 

“I want to know.”

 

Mitch sits on the bed opposite Dylan and pats the bed for Auston to sit next to him. So Auston does. Mitch raises his eyebrow and gestures towards Dylan. Auston looks over and Dylan is practically salivating. Auston takes a deep breath. Mitch trusts this guy not to be a dickhead.

 

“So Mitch and me, we're dating.”

“But you said you're not fucking?”

“Because we're not.”

 

Dylan snorts.

 

“Why the hell not?”

 

Another deep breath. He can do this.

 

“We're courting. So apparently the rules are that we can't fuck until we're done.”

“Courting... that's like a dynamic thing, right?”

 

Auston nods.

 

“But, Mitch is, and you're...”

“I lied to the league. I'm actually a sub. Mitch's sub.”

“Well like, not yet.”

 

Auston glares at him.

 

“Yes I am. Don't listen to him.”

 

Mitch smiles to himself and Auston swells with pride. His dom is happy with him.

 

“You lied? Why?”

“Uh, because I wanted to go first.”

“Shit, that's rough. But like this is good? You're happy with _him_?”

 

It's Auston's turn to glare at Dylan now.

 

“Mitch is perfect.”

 

Auston didn't expect Dylan to laugh but he practically falls off the bed curling up into a giggling mess.

 

“He's being serious.”

 

Mitch is using his serious voice. It's adorable.

 

“Oh, that's so cute. The two of you are made for each other. I''m happy for you. You have my blessing.”

“Thanks.”

 

Auston can't help the reply dripping with sarcasm. But he smiles again when Mitch reaches over and takes his hand. He almost forgets Dylan is still there.

 

“You meeting the parents tomorrow then?”

“Yeah.”

“You must be shitting yourself.”

“Gee thanks Stromer.”

“You're welcome. I bet Davo had like a list of questions. Did he badger you about coming out to the world as like queer dynamic representation? Like for the children and the good of hockey?”

 

Auston snorts.

 

“You could say that. He's a hell of a campaigner. I think he was being serious too.”

“That boy's middle name is serious.”

“He means well.”

“He doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. He doesn't know anything about dynamics, not really so he shouldn't offer advice.”

“Alright Mitchy, but he cares about you and god help him he cares about hockey, a lot, so he's, well, he means well. I've been on the receiving end of a few of those lectures. So just ignore him and he'll get the picture.”

“Cool.”

“So you guys gonna dish any secrets I can take back to the team? Anyone carrying an injury? Any power play moves you want to share?”

“Fuck off Stromer.”

“As you wish.”

 

It's nice. It's relaxed. No pressure. Dylan does just seem to embrace the chill vibe. So they order some room service and sit back on the beds watching whatever crap they can order on the hotel pay-per-view. It's chill.

 

The next morning it's game day. And presentation day. So like double nerves. He's also playing back in Arizona for the first time. So yeah, it's stressful. But Mitch got Zach to swap rooms with him so he wakes up with Mitch clung to him like all the best mornings. He's still nervous but he feels like he has the strength to face it all as long as he has Mitch. It's a bit different from their usual game-day routine; Auston gets up first and showers so that by the time he's out Mitch has laid out their clothes for the day, hanging their suits off the wardrobe door. Auston throws on his practice clothes noticing Mitch watching him dress. Mitch has seem him naked before, changing in front of a locker room full of men is just something you have to get used to as a hockey player. The attention and heat in Mitch's gaze is different though. Locker room changing is sweaty and gross and perfunctory. It's never something to watch intently or savour. But Auston knows they can't do anything about it; they are expected at team breakfast any minute and moreover they aren't finished courting. It still feels nice to know Mitch is appreciating him. And so sue him if Auston makes a little extra effort to roll him sweats over his ass and stretches his abs out unnecessarily as he pulls his t-shirt over his head. Mitch wants to watch then Auston will give him a show. He smirks a little in Mitch's direction when he's finished just to let him know he's been caught. Mitch doesn't look embarrassed though. His pupils are blown out but he still manages to just give Auston a wide grin and stand to open the door for them. Auston huffs slightly before following Mitch's lead.

 

Breakfast, practice, pre-game nap are all normal. Just like routine. That both of them are more nervous than this game requires is something they are both ignoring for now. Once the game is over they can worry about the presentation and everything that is going to entail. But for now, focus has to be on the game.

 

And it's a good game. Everything seems to just _work._ Passes that normally bounce of the tape stick, shots that normally get caught in the goalies gloves sneak through into the back of the net. And for some unknown reason Babs decides to play with the lines so all of this is with Mitch on his wing. And really Auston couldn't think of anything much better than playing back at his hometown team, with his family in the stands, scoring a filthy goal off a crazy saucer pass from his dom. And getting to cuddle celly with him is the icing on the cake. If he can't help the dumb smile on his face as he looks down at Mitchy in his arms well then he figures it'll make a few appearances on twitter tonight but he couldn't care less.

 

He's in a good mood when they come off the ice after a 4-1 victory and a three point night. The media is easy tonight as well, it's easy for him to answer the 'how does it feel to be back' questions – great, it feels great. It is surreal if he's 100% honest, which he never is to the media, to be playing against guys he had been supporting not that long ago. He spends a lot of time watching Mitch in the locker room to check for any hint of nerves. It's a big night for him and he knows Mitch has been stressing about it for a while. Knowing his parents are okay with it, suspected it already, has taken the edge of most of Auston's nerves. He's presenting Mitchy after all; no one could dislike Mitch. Well, not his family anyway. Some of the guys definitely find Mitch to be too much but he's also been told that's it's better recently because Auston soaks up most of Mitch's _extra_ so it doesn't get directed towards the rest of the guys now. The point is that Auston isn't worried his family aren't going to like Mitch. His knows his mom already loves him, she's referred to him as a 'good Canadian boy' on multiple occasions and actually thinks he's a good influence on Auston which is, well, debatable. Auston's dad approves of Mitch as well if in a less effusive way than his mom. More 'he's a good lad that Mitch'. His sisters are going to be a bit of a wild card. He isn't sure how many of them are going to be there and he isn't sure how they'll react. Yes they've both met Mitch before but this is a bit different. He isn't sure how dynamic traditional Alex and Bre are. Bre hasn't even been tested yet but he knows his mother expects her to be a dom like Alex. They can be brats and they might well ask Mitch lots of awkward questions just to annoy Auston. That's the nature of siblings. He's more worried that Mitch is going to answer them truthfully.

 

“Hey kid, can I get a word?”

 

Auston blinks as he looks up from his thoughts to see Marty stood over him a serious look on his face.

 

“What's up Marty?”

“In private.”

 

Auston is fully dressed so just gets up to follow Marty wordlessly through the corridors of the Gila River Arena. Marty stops and turns abruptly and Auston almost walks into him.

 

“You're presenting Mitch tonight right?”

 

Auston nods. He figures Marty is going to lecture him or something.

 

“Are you really ready for this? Because I don't want you to be doing this just because Mitch says so, okay? You can back out of any of this whenever you want. It's your choice and I just... I need to make sure you know that.”

“Don't you trust Mitch?”

“I do. But he's still new at this too. You'd be surprised how easy it is for a suggestion or request to come across as an order. It's easy when you're young not to realise how much influence you have.”

“It's not like that Marty. I _want_ this. My parents know about my dynamic now. I was worried about that bit but it's okay. Presenting them Mitch is easy. Although I'm not really sure what it's going to be.”

 

Marty laughs, he seems lighter now. The sparkle in his eyes has returned so Auston knows he's probably about to get chirped. It's like Marty's eyes just light up whenever something dumb is said, usually by Mitch, true, but everyone else is vulnerable too.

 

“It usually depends on the people involved.”

“Shit, should I have prepared something? Was I supposed to ask my parents what they wanted?”  
“Nah, that's Mitchy's job.”

“He spoke to my parents?”

 

Marty shakes his head and Auston knows he must be being dumb. He's not sure why though. Marty will no doubt enlighten him at his own convenience though.

 

“The dom has to send an invitation of sorts. Kind of a request actually. And your parents would have had to respond with any requirements. If Mitch hasn't said anything then they don't need anything special. He's probably trying not to freak you out.”

“It was working til you came along.”

 

Auston frowns. Mitch would've said something if they had to give some sort of speech or perform some sort of ritual. He can trust Mitch.

 

“My presentation was nothing Auston. We just had dinner and Syd's parents asked me a lot of questions.”

“Are they going to be gross questions?”

“Unlikely. Remember any question they ask Mitch about sex stuff is like asking you about it. Most parents just want to know that the dom is qualified and caring. It's usually more about observing the dynamic. It can be pretty easy to tell if the sub is happy and responding well to their dom.”

“Okay, so chill, nothing to worry about.”

“No. You'll be fine. Everyone loves Mitch.”

 

Auston raises an eyebrow and Marty laughs clapping him on the shoulder.

 

“They like him more now you're taking the brunt of his 'Mitch'-ness”

 

Auston smiles. Marty and the others might mean it as some sort of insult but Auston is proud to have that much of Mitch's attention. He likes that Mitch is constantly _on_ because it means that he doesn't have to be. And no one is moaning about Auston being grumpy or sullen when Mitch is around. Maybe that's more because when Mitch is around Auston is smiling.

 

“Speaking of, I better get you back to Mitch in case he thinks you've done a runner.”

 

Marty thumps him on the shoulder again and pushes him forward. Auston spares the moment to glare back at him before following behind him back to the locker room.

 

Sure enough Mitch is still in the locker room. Most of the other guys have left by now. Mitch is wringing his hands and staring down at his phone. Auston glares again at Marty.

 

“Mitch, you ready?”

 

Mitch's head snaps up and he grins at Auston before it drops slightly when he sees Marty next to him.

 

“Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah, Marty's just being a...”

“Just being a concerned friend, is all.”

 

The look Mitch gives Marty suggests he knows exactly what 'concerned friend' means but he doesn't say anything just turns back to Auston, takes his hand and smiles again.

 

“We're going back to the hotel to change then we're going over to your parents' house.”

“Cool.”

“Come on, losers, we don't want to miss the bus.”

 

They traipse after Marty quietly and Mitch eventually has to drop his hand as the bus comes into view. He's not disappointed but he misses the contact. He likes knowing Mitch is there and that they're connected. It's small and may not seem like much but it's important.

 

Getting back to the hotel they crowd into the elevator with a bunch of their teammates discussing vague plans to go out and celebrate.

 

“So Matts, you gotta show us your town, bro.”

 

Auston rolls his eyes. This team.

 

“Sorry, I've got dinner with my parents.”

“Mitch you down though?”

 

Mitch stalls, looking up at Auston who just shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets leaning back against the elevator wall.

 

“Sorry, can't. I'm, uh, having dinner with Auston's parents.”

“Dude, how come we weren't invited?”

“Besties only, Willy. You didn't qualify.”

“Rude.”

“I'm not surprised though. Parents love Mitch. Mitch has already met mine and I wasn't even there.”

 

Mitch huffs and crosses his arms but Auston can tell he's glad of the out from Brownie. They reach their floor at that point and their conversation is forgotten as they separate out to their rooms. As soon as they are inside Mitch busies himself pulling their garments bags out of the wardrobe. Apparently whatever they were wearing was important enough to have been sent off to the hotel steaming service.

 

Auston showers again to fully remove the layers of sweat and grime from his skin that the perfunctory shower at the rink couldn't reach. He forces himself not to rush but to let the feel of the water on his skin and the aroma of the special custom body wash Mitch had bought lull him into a state of relaxation.

 

When he finally makes it out into the room Mitch has lined up his outfit including the jacket he had gifted Auston. He doesn't say anything just makes his way into the bathroom himself to get cleaned up. Auston strokes the soft fabric of the jacket. He hadn't really had an occasion to wear this yet and he'd figured dinner with his parents wasn't really formal enough for this but Mitch must know something different. He dresses quickly but leaves the jacket on the hanger on instinct. He sits at the dresser and tries to comb his hair into submission waiting for Mitch to emerge from the bathroom. Mitch has picked out a simple combination really just to maximise the impact of the jacket. It's entirely black but it's also clearly tailored. The suit pants fit him better than any of his others, though they are a more fitted cut than he would normally get. He guesses that is for Mitch's benefit. The shirt is unusual; it doesn't have a collar at all but finishes with a single button just like the ones on jacket. Auston has it buttoned all the way up and it's not restrictive or overly tight. So it must be custom fit. No way did normal dress shirts fit like this. It didn't even pull over his shoulders or biceps or gape over his stomach. It's perfect.

 

When Mitch finally makes it out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam Auston doesn't try to hide the fact that he's looking. Mitch doesn't either.

 

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah Mitch, I do.”

 

He had thought of teasing Mitch about buying him more clothes but something about the look on Mitch's face makes his words come out soft and earnest. Mitch's returning smile is worth it though. Mitch dresses quickly and with his back turned to Auston. It's probably safer, the last thing either of them needs is to get keyed up before heading to dinner with his parents.

 

Mitch is wearing a plainer suit than Auston but still dressed up. It's pale grey suit and a slightly off-white shirt underneath with the collar open. He looks good. Once he's dressed he turns around to look at Auston still sat in exactly the same place. He looks up at the jacket still on the hanger and smiles. He reaches up and lifts the jacket off its hanger and holds it out – like the first time he gave it to Auston. Auston stands and turns so his back is towards Mitch, he lifts his arms and places them into the armholes as Mitch offers them to him. Once Auston shrugs it onto his shoulders Mitch comes around to stand in front of him. He buttons the middle button leaving the other two open before smoothing the fabric down over his shoulders and picking off a loose thread. He stands back and Auston can't help giving a little twirl for Mitch to admire his outfit from all angles.

 

“You like?”

 

Mitch just nods silently and Auston smirks. Mitch isn't often speechless.

 

“Let's go then.”

“Yes let's go.”

 

Auston follows Mitch out of the hotel where there is a driver waiting for them. They get into the back of the town car. Auston knows it's about a 50 minute drive from Glendale to Scottsdale so he's got a bit of time with Mitch. The driver has a partition up so Auston takes the opportunity to hold Mitch's hand between them. It's not a huge thing but it anchors him. It soothes him to be connected to Mitch, to just know he's there.

 

It doesn't feel that long until they are pulling up to the curb outside Auston's childhood home. The place he still thinks of as home really. Auston takes a deep breath. He's ready for this. He wants it. He looks over to Mitch who looks uncharacteristically severe. Auston squeezes Mitch's hand and smiles.

 

“Hey Mitchy, remember – you're perfect.”

 

It must've been the right thing to say because he gets the full MitchTM grin in response. The driver opens the door and Mitch gets out leaving loose of Auston's hand. But a second later the same hand is offered to Auston. He raises an eyebrow to let Mitch know that Auston is aware that Mitch is being a little extra but that he'll allow it. He takes the offered hand and gets out the car. They stand there together for a moment while the driver pulls away. But Auston can see the twitch of the curtains and knows their arrival has been noticed. Nothing for it then but to go in and face whatever this night would have in hold for them.

 

Mitch leads Auston up the path and to the door. Auston is sure that one of his sisters is on the other side already waiting for them to ring the bell. Before Mitch even has the chance to ring the bell, his finger raised and poised over it, the door swings open too quickly and Alex is stood there holding the doorframe and the door keeping them both outside for the moment. Alex is dressed _up_ wearing a classy looking black cocktail dress and a row of pearls. His sister is only a couple of years older than him and definitely not old enough to warrant pearls. So she wants to seem older. Probably going to try and intimidate Mitch. It's not going to work. Mitch is fearless. He's the kid everyone told was too small for hockey and he still made it. He gets hit by guys like Byfuglien and Weber and just keeps going.

 

“So you're courting my brother?”

 

Mitch tenses slightly. This probably wasn't part of the plan.

 

“Alex...”

 

Auston's tone is a warning but one Alex doesn't seem inclined to heed.

 

“I'm just looking out for you, bro. I don't want anyone to take advantage of you. I know what this sort of thing looks like. I've heard the rumours.”

“You don't know what you're talking about.”

 

Alex scoffs and straightens up directing her steely gaze straight at Mitch.

 

“Don't I? So this isn't some kind of team thing? The Maple Leafs aren't forcing you to do this? Because they can't, I checked, it's in the CBA they're not allowed to make an uncollared sub take a team dom. You might think that this is okay but it's not normal and I'm not going to sit back and let him take advantage of you whether you realise that's what's happening or not.”

 

Auston's face is fiery now, his brow furrows and his mouth twists into a grimace. Mitch takes an abortive step forward rolling his shoulders back and drawing himself up to his full height.

 

“That's not what this is...”

“Let him speak for himself.”

 

Mitch recoils at that. He looks to Auston who nods briefly. He hadn't expected any of his family to be so openly hostile.

 

“You don't get to speak to him like that.”

 

Auston spits out. Mitch squeezes his hand reassuringly but Auston is still pissed. How dare she presume to judge Mitch like that. How dare she judge Auston like that. How dare she judge the Maple Leafs like that. Sure, no one on the team management knows he's a sub but no one has suggested that Mitch needs to take a dom and they do think _he's_ a sub.

 

Alex takes a step back in shock and looks between Auston and Mitch clearly surprised if not by Auston's words than by his tone. Auston moves forward to push passed his sister. Thankfully she moves out the way so he doesn't actually have to push her. It's been a long time since he stopped actually being rough with them. It was okay when they were younger and specifically when _he_ was smaller. But he wouldn't have felt all that bad if he'd had to have elbowed her out the way then.

 

“This isn't over.”

 

He hears her hiss to Mitch as they move passed but to his credit Mitch doesn't even blink he just follows behind Auston.

 

Auston moves into the kitchen where he finds his mother. His mood lifts considerably when she turns and notices his arrival.

 

“Papí! You're here.”

 

She envelopes him in her arms and Auston feels like a little boy again. He might tower over his mother now but he'll always feel like a child in her arms, safe and warm and protected.

 

“Mama, I want you to meet my boyfriend Mitch.”

 

Auston draws back but doesn't let go of his mother's side. She reaches for Mitch's outstretched hand and shakes it, bringing him in to kiss both cheeks.

 

“Welcome Mitch, to our family.”

 

Mitch smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and Auston frowns.

 

“I...”

 

Auston's mom is clearly expecting Mitch to continue, maybe this is part of the courting ritual. But Mitch closes his mouth again with a click and looks down.

 

“I think we should have dinner and talk before, you know, everything else.”

 

Auston figures this is because of Alex's attitude. Mitch wants to clear the air before the official presentation bit. It's probably wise. Auston would have just told Alex to shut the fuck up and keep her judgement to herself but for once Mitch is probably winning in the maturity stakes. Auston is still ahead overall though, just to be clear.

 

They all file into the dining room in silence, his father and Bre picking up on the tension in the room. Auston sighs, this was supposed to be a good thing. This was supposed to be about showing Mitch off to his family not about defending his relationship. Mitch looks at him and smiles reassuringly. He puts a hand on Auston's thigh under the table and squeezes. Auston rests his hand on top of Mitch's, smiles and kisses his cheek chastely. He can hear a sharp intake of breath from Alex but his mother is smiling proudly at him. They eat practically in silence save for a few polite comments of thanks for the food and the odd tidbit of small talk. But the words dry up quickly and no one seems motivated to keep up the conversation. The atmosphere weighs heavy in the air keeping any attempts at lighthearted conversation at bay. When they are all finished Auston steels himself for what is to come.

 

“I want to... tell you. I want to clear the air.”

 

Auston looks down at his lap; at Mitch's hand in his.

 

“The team had nothing to do with this.”

 

Auston glares at Alex.

 

“I thought I could handle myself without any help but I was wrong. Mitch has been looking after me. I didn't really pay all that much attention in dynamic education because I didn't really want to face it. But Mitch has been helping me come to terms with being, you know, a sub and being okay with that. And I'm not all the way there yet but I'm so much better. Mitch is my best friend regardless of anything else. And I can't imagine doing this with anyone else. You act like you were standing up for me but you didn't. You acted like I was nothing...”

“That's not what I...”

“No! Let me speak. You don't get to dismiss me or silence me or act like you're right just because you are a dom. You made it seem like I couldn't be trusted because I'm a sub and that's bullshit Alex. Mitch has _never_ treated me like that. You don't get to doubt me. You don't get to doubt this. When have I ever been okay to talk about it? Have you ever heard me even mention being a sub?”

“I think it's great Auston. I can't think of a better idea than courting your best friend.”

“Thanks Bre.”

“And I don't think any differently of you. You're still a lazy, stubborn, asshole that everyone has to run around after. Just now you've got Mitch to do it.”

 

Mitch giggles as Auston tries to reach across the table to take a swipe at his sister.

 

“Now, now, Auston, Breyana.” His mother scolds.

 

Auston risks a glance at his father who has been conspicuously silent this whole time.

 

“We all just want the best for you Auston.”

“Mitch is the best.”

“We just want to make sure the relationship is healthy. So soon after accepting yourself we just want to make sure there aren't any issues of transference or trauma bonding. Your sister means well but she is influenced after all by her own dynamic as you are by yours, and I might add, your rather negative feelings towards your dynamic. I understand probably better than most although granted I never dealt with the pressure of being a professional athlete. But if you think I never dealt with prejudice because I'm a male submissive then you're wrong. But this whole relationship has developed very quickly and we just want to make sure everything is okay.”

 

Auston looks at Mitch in confusion. He has no idea what his father is talking about.

 

“Er... trauma bonding is when the endorphins or oxytocin released when _playing_ can become addictive and make people think they are falling in love. Transference similarly is like where the sub develops feelings for his dom that aren't based in their personality but in their role or position as the dom.”

 

Mitch turns towards him and lowers his voice as he provides the explanation as if reciting from a textbook.

 

“Well that's not us.”

“No, it's not.”

  
Auston turns back to his family smiling triumphantly but they all still look stony faced.

 

“Son, you can't just dismiss this out of hand.”

“Brian, let him explain.”

 

His father shrugs and looks back at Auston expectantly. Shit. There's no way around it. Auston freezes and Mitch squeezes his thigh again. Auston is going to have to explain to his family, _at the dinner table_ , that none of those worries apply to them because they're not scening and they're not having sex. God, he just wants to get out of here at soon as possible. Not having this conversation would be ideal. It's all Alex's fault for being a shitty dom about it and not like talking about it behind his back like a normal person.

 

“Well... our relationship can't be based on transference or trauma bonding...”

 

Auston pauses, takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

 

“...because we haven't _played_ or, you know, had sex yet.”

 

Auston can feel that his face must be bright red right now as he mumbles out the end of his sentence. If he doesn't die of embarrassment first he is going to kill Alex. When he finally opens his eyes if only to see why the hell everyone is still silent he catches his mother's eye who looks oddly proud and his father is smiling too. Alex just looks shocked and Bre clearly is thinking up a chirp of some sort.

 

“You're _waiting_ , how quaint.”

 

He can hear the sarcasm dripping in his sister's voice and he knows Bre will be saving up the ruder chirps she wouldn't say in front of their parents for later.

 

“We wanted to do it properly.”

“ _You_ wanted to do it properly.”

 

Fuck. Auston really needs to control his mouth around his family.

 

“I thought the sub controlled sex.”

 

Alex's tone is mocking if not totally derisive and Auston feels his hackles rise again. Mitch strokes his thigh and smiles up at him before levelling his sister with a glare.

 

“Any decent dom is going to take care not to risk inducing trauma bonding with a sub in such a vulnerable position. Plus, I figured it was romantic.”

 

Mitch turns his sunny smile back on Auston and Auston can't help grinning back.

 

“And are you a decent dom? Hell, you're not even registered as a dom with the league.”

“Fuck you, Alex, you don't...”

“Auston!” Auston stops at his father's clipped tone.

“And Alex, you should apologise. Mitch is here as our guest, as your brother's dominant and you should never be so rude as to question that so publicly.”

“Sorry, dad.”

“It's Mitch you should be apologising to.”

 

She glares a little at Auston before responding glumly to Mitch.

 

“I'm sorry Mitch. I shouldn't have...”

“It's okay” Mitch shrugs “It's true I am registered as a sub with the league. We're tested in juniors pretty young and they got it wrong with me. I had some bad experiences with my junior team and I went to see a dynamic coach who told me I was a dom.”

“Shit, that's...”

“Yeah, so trust me, I really understand all the things that can go wrong in dynamic interactions. But I too am new as a dom so I want you to know that I have a tutor who is a very experienced and well respected dom in the community and he, along with his sub, are monitoring both my proficiency and our relationship. He might be my friend but if he ever thought anything was remiss he would be the first to step in. I promise, I love your son and I will do everything in my power to look out for his best interests even if that isn't me.”

 

Auston is gobsmacked. That's the first time Mitch has ever said he loves him and it's to his family. Auston raises an eyebrow as he catches Mitch's eye just to let him know that Auston noticed.

 

“Oh Mitch, I am so happy it's you. You make him happy, I can see that.”

 

Mitch grins, the full one this time, right up to his eyes and projected out like sunshine casting its glow on everything it touches.

 

“So are we going to do this thing?”

 

Alex mutters sullenly folding her arms at her mothers admonishing glare. Mitch nods and clears his throat.

“I, Mitchell Marner, present myself to you, the family of Auston Matthews, as his chosen dominant. I request your ongoing support and blessing on our courtship.”

 

Despite everything Mitch is still smiling confidently. He isn't fazed easily. This is something Auston has always known about Mitch. It's pretty much a core part of his personality. He's strong in a not obvious way. He might not bench as much as Auston does but he has a strength of character, a surety about himself, that Auston envies. He has his insecurities too. But the things he's sure of he's unwavering in his faith. And it seems that Auston is one of the things he's sure about. Sometimes he's not sure of his own skills but he never doubts Auston.

 

“Mitch, as Auston's mother I would be proud to give my blessing to your courtship.”

“As Auston's father, I too, give my blessing to your courtship. I wish you no end to your happiness and should you need any advice or support please do not hesitate to seek our counsel.”

 

Auston glares at Alex pointedly.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Mitch turns his hand over and squeezes Auston's hand gazing at him softly.

 

“So Auston...”

“Yes Bre?”

“That's a new jacket.”

 

Auston felt himself blushing and Mitch smiling proudly.

 

“It was my gift from Mitch.”

“It looks expensive.”

“Bre, it's not polite to comment on the price of a gift.”

“Well, they pay me pretty well to play the game I love.”

“Gotta spend that signing bonus, eh?”

“Eh?”

“Shut it. I'm _American_.”

 

Mitch giggles. He is going to fit in so well with Auston's family. He has a pretty weak level of chirps with the team. Which is about right for Auston and his sisters. As long as Alex got over herself. And eventually she will see. The longer they are together the more obvious it will be that they are good for each other.

 

“So are you guys at the confirmation stage now?”

“Surely, they have the demonstration?”

“No we've done that.”

 

Dammit. _Again._ Auston can't believe he fell for that trap. Mitch chokes on air a little a red tinge to the tips of his ears.

 

“The confirmation deadline is the end of this week.”

“Yeah.”

“I'm thinking you don't have too much to worry about with that Mitch.”

 

Auston beams at Mitch. His mother is, of course, right. He has no intention of rejecting Mitch. He's so looking forward to it. That moment when he can finally be, officially, Mitch's sub. I mean it also has the perk that he will _finally_ be able to have sex with Marns. He can't wait.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... here be the smut. Confession time - this is my first time writing actual smut and I feel like I threw myself in the deep end going for advanced kinky smut. Hopefully I did an okay job but like I would love some feedback. Lmk what you think.

It would have been nice if the NHL could have scheduled their bye week precisely for when Mitch and Auston would complete their confirmation. Like that would have been ideal. But life doesn't work like that. At least not Auston's life.

 

Instead after their deadline they have a packed schedule leading into the playoff push. But Auston is not waiting until summer to get laid. He's been patient. He _needs_ this.

 

He also needs to get up. He can smell breakfast cooking in the kitchen and he can hear Mitch singing along to the radio. Auston smiles rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He stretches his entire body out rolling himself over and out of bed. He's just wearing boxers so he grabs his discarded sleep pants and a crumpled t-shirt from the floor. Despite this being his condo and his room he's pretty sure it's Mitch's t-shirt. If he thought Mitch was the devious type he'd suspect he had purposefully planted huge amounts of his clothing around Auston's room. Sure enough when Auston glances over his shoulder he can see Mitch's name stretched tight across his back. It's not the worst thing.

 

He wanders out of his room and pads down the corridor scratching a hand through his hair which is sticking up at all angles. As suspected Mitch is at the stove, already dressed and wearing an apron, singing as he stirs the scrambled eggs. God, Auston can't believe how gone he is on this guy that his heart swells at the sight.

 

“Morning.”

 

Auston slides into his seat at the breakfast bar leaning forward on his elbows. Mitch spares the second to turn round and beam at Auston before turning his attention back to the food on the stove.

 

Auston is still chewing his last bite when Mitch whisks the plate away. He narrows his eyes and draws his mug to his chest inhaling the heavenly scent.

 

“So...”

“Auston Matthews, I seek your final confirmation that my offerings have been acceptable to you and that you will choose me to be your dominant.”

“I do. I mean, I choose you, wait...”

 

Mitch bursts into giggles of pure glee.

 

“I'm not a pokemon Matts.”

“Fuck off, you're mine now. No take backsies.”

 

Mitch leans forward and presses a chaste kiss on Auston's lips. He smiles. They get to do that now. Well, at least in private.

 

“How long until practice Mitchy?”

“Not long enough for anything fun.”

 

Auston rolls his eyes and glares at the back of Mitch's head poking his tongue for good measure.

 

“Not what I meant Mitchy.”

“No but, things are getting pretty busy so we might have to wait a while to get to the serious stuff.”

“Urgh, we picked such a bad time for a courtship.”

 

Mitch snorts shooting him a pointed look.

 

“Well if you'd waited five seconds after you found out courtship was a thing maybe we could have scheduled it for the offseason.”

“Excuse me for being excited.”

 

Mitch comes round Auston's side of the kitchen island and turns Auston's stool around so he can stand between Auston's legs. He stays close but just out of reach. Auston knows he's got something to say so he just waits. Mitch only gets slow and quiet like this when he is trying to order his thoughts and put them into the right words.

 

“I'm so happy you asked for this Matts. So fucking happy.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

 

Mitch moves to step backwards but Auston catches his arms gently and holds him there.

 

“Mitchy...” He whines “I can't wait until summer to do anything. It could be June.”

“Hell yeah it's gonna be June.”

“But Mitchy...”

“We might not be able to do  _everything_ Matts but we'll still be able to do _some_ stuff.”

“Fun stuff?”

“Very fun stuff.”

“There'll be lots of talking too though won't there?”

“Yup, before any stuff.”

 

Auston slumps his shoulders a bit before looking up hopefully.

 

“We don't have a game today, just practice.”

“We do have a game tomorrow though.”

“So just something mildly diverting then.”

“I might have some ideas.”

 

By all rights he should be really distracted at practice. The thought of what they could be doing, what they're _going_ to be doing should be overwhelming after waiting for so long. But Mitch clasps a hand on the back of Auston's neck while they're sat in the car in the parking lot. He squeezes until Auston raises his eyes to meet Mitch's gaze.

 

“Have a good practice Matts. And you'll get your reward this afternoon.”

 

Auston bites his lip and watches Mitch track the movement. Yes, this afternoon will be the reward. The start of all the good stuff that comes with his dynamic. He's spent the majority of his life trying to push his instincts down but now he gets to enjoy them. He gets to enjoy the feeling of releasing his control. He's never met someone he would trust to give that power to, other than Mitch.

 

Practice is good. _Really_ good.

 

If Auston is performing a little for Mitch, well, no one needs to know. He can feel Mitch's eyes on him during the whole practice. He pulls a killer toe drag through the legs shot in the shootout drill that makes the whole bench go wild. Babs would probably chastise the showboating but it's worth it for the heat in Mitch's eyes as he gets fist bumps from the bench. Marty just shakes his head and face washes him. He blatantly knows what's going on but Auston is too excited to care.

 

The locker room is crazy afterwards. There's music blaring and somebody is singing along badly. There's yelling and rough housing. There's dancing and dabbing. Everyone seems to have taken the mood from the ice straight into the room and Auston can't stop smiling. Mitch is staring at him grinning broadly. Auston showers slowly making sure to scrub his skin of dirt and sweat and grime. He doesn't want to have to shower again when he gets home. Two in one day is probably enough without having to add a third. And he will definitely be needing to take a shower _after_ he and Mitch are done. When he comes back into the room a few of the guys have already left. Mainly the older guys.

 

“You joining us for lunch Matts?”

“Nah.”

 

Auston shrugs Willy off without even looking up at him.

 

“You got better plans Matthews?”

 

Auston smirks looking up from pulling on his shoes.

 

“Yeah, I do. Hanging out with Mitchy.”

“Bro date?”

“Something like that.”

 

Willy looks a little sour but Zac, Brownie and Kappy are there to distract him and Auston slips out of the room with Mitch following quickly behind him. They don't talk as they walk to the car. They don't talk as they get in. Mitch picks the music. He always does. He puts on a new playlist. It's soft and slow. Relaxing. Auston raises an eyebrow. He knows Mitch's moves. He knows it's on purpose. But they don't talk while Mitch drives them home. Auston can feel the nerves building. He can feel his knee jiggling and the butterflies stirring in his stomach. It's not like he hasn't had sex before. Well not with a guy but still. He's no virgin. But this is different. He knows they're not going to get to do anything really serious tonight but it still feels like a big deal.

 

Mitch is driving slower than normal. More carefully. And it's driving him insane. He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the headrest. He just wants to get there. He just wants to talk it out and get on with it.   
  


He definitely doesn't doze off but before he knows it Mitch is opening his door and they're at his place. Auston blinks before taking Mitch's proffered hands and pulls himself out of the car. He follows in silence into the building and up the elevator into the condo. Mitch pulls him onto the couch and hands him a gatorade and a take-out box.

 

“I stopped for food. We need to eat.”

“Then talk?”

“Yep.”

“Then fun?”

“Yep.”

 

Auston smiles. He opens the take out box and begins to wolf down the noodles inside. He's starving and Mitch knows his favourite orders. Mitch eats too. Slowly. Too slowly for Auston's liking. They might have all afternoon but Auston just wants to get started.

 

When Mitch finally finishes his food he picks up the take out wrappers and moves them into the kitchen. Auston leans back into the couch and sips at his gatorade. He probably isn't going to enjoy the talk. He doesn't like a whole lot of talking. He's more of an action kind of person. But he knows this is important to Mitch for like the safety process or whatever.

 

“So.”

“What do we even need to talk about Mitch?”

 

Mitch rolls his eyes and sits down next to Auston. He takes one of his hands in his. It's an oddly tame and sweet gesture given the conversation they are about to have.

 

“We need to talk about safewords and check ins. We need to talk about what we're going to do as well”

“I thought the point was just for you to be in control.”

“Doesn't mean I can just do whatever I want. That's not safe or you know consensual.”

“But I'm letting you. It's okay.”

“It might seem okay but it's a pretty advanced thing to just let your dom do whatever they want. We should work up to it. We should plan it out for now.”

“Whatever. So like do I have to pick a weird safeword, like pinaeapple?”

 

Mitch giggles and shakes his head.

 

“You can if you want. Or like just use the traffic light system.”

“Red means stop, green means go?”

“Yellow means slow down.”

“Cool, got it.”

 

Mitch can call him on his shit with just a look and Auston smiles. He knows he's pushing it. He's not into the whole brat thing. But sometimes it's a little fun to push Mitch's buttons.

 

“Obviously if you're not okay with something you can use your safeword. And this is where the trust thing has to go both ways. You have to trust me to stop and I have to be able to trust you to tell me if you need to stop, okay?”

“Okay.”

 

Auston nods. Mitch isn't serious very often so when he is Auston knows it's important. He doesn't think he'll have a problem using his safeword if he needs to. He might be a bit over anxious to safeword if he's honest.

 

“I'll ask you to check-in and I'll squeeze your shoulder okay? It's good to have a verbal and non-verbal gesture just to make sure.”

“Okay. So what have you got planned for today?”

 

Mitch smirks. He reaches into a bag by his feet at the bottom of the couch. Auston hadn't even noticed him bringing anything in.

 

“What's this?”

 

Mitch hands him a set of leather cuffs. They are padded on the inside and a soft buttery leather on the outside in a deep plum colour. The brass fittings make clear their purposes and Auston can feel a rush of heat hit him in the gut. Yes. Yes, he wants this.

 

“Well, I'd planned on cuffing you, just by the wrists, to the bed.”

“And...”

“Well I had an idea.”

 

Mitch looks down and fiddles with Auston's fingers. Auston just waits.

 

“You can tell me what you want Mitch. I can always say no.”

 

Mitch smiles softly.

 

“Well, I thought I could introduce you to edging.”

“Edging... was that on the list?”

“Yeah, I think the list called it orgasm delay. But basically I'd cuff you to the bed and just, like blow you until you're about to come and then hold back and just keep doing it. It can be quite intense but I'll be careful and I won't take it too far.”

“Wait, you're going to blow me?”

“Yeah, trust me it'll feel submissive to you when you're on the receiving end.”

“Okay. That sounds...” Auston swallows “...good, yeah really good.”

“And do you want to wear a condom or...?”

“For a blow job, are you kidding?”

 

Mitch levels him with another of his serious looks and Auston rolls his eyes again.

 

“Look, Mitch. I've had my dick sucked before and I've never worn a condom for it. But anyway we were both tested and we were both clean and this relationship is just between the two of us so like, I was thinking no condoms. For anything.”

 

Mitch nods, biting the corner of his lip like he's trying to hold back his grin.

 

“Is there anything else we need to talk about? What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well, how are you planning on getting off?”

“I figure I'll probably just jack off. It won't take long.”

“That feels a little unfair.”

“Trust me, Auston, I'm really going to enjoy this. There is nothing unfair about it at all. I can't even believe I get to do this. So really don't worry.”

“Okay, so chat over?”

“Yes Matts, chat over.”

“Good, let's go.”

 

Auston stands up and still holding onto Mitch's hand drags him up too. He marches them into the bedroom where he turns to face him.

 

“So, like, if you want to tell me what to do, just like in terms of what we've talk about. I'd be into that.”

 

Mitch's eyes darken and he wets his lips with his tongue nodding almost imperceptibly.

 

“I want you to strip. Quickly.”

 

Auston shivers but he complies right away. He was only wearing post-practice workout gear; sweats and a t-shirt ,so it took him barely any time until he was down to his boxers. He looks up at Mitch as he toys with the hemline of his boxers. Mitch has, of course, seem him naked before but this is different. The context makes it different. Mitch nods and Auston takes a deep breath before pushing his boxers down his thighs and stepping out of them. He's already half-hard just from the anticipation and he drinks in Mitch's appreciative gaze.

 

Mitch takes a step towards him and he's holding the cuffs out. Auston holds out his wrists and Mitch undoes the buckles and opens the cuff. He wraps it around Auston's wrist and fastens the clasp. He slips two fingers under the leather and tugs gently.

 

“Is that loose enough, it doesn't hurt?”

“No, it's good.”

 

Mitch fastens the other one the same.

 

“Lie down on the bed, on your back.”

 

Auston lies down, wriggling into the middle of the bed trying to find the most comfortable spot. Mitch has already stripped the comforter so Auston is just lying on the sheet.

 

“Put your hands above your head.”

  
Auston shuffles down the bed a bit and raises his arms above his head. Mitch has taken his shirt and pants off but is still left in tight black boxer briefs. He climbs onto the bed and straddles Auston's waist. He can feel the weight of Mitch across his abs and he can't help a slight whine escape his throat. Mitch catches his eye and smiles before leaning forwards to attach his cuffs. He pulls Auston's wrists together and fixes them together before attaching them to a d-ring on the headboard itself.

 

“Pull.”

 

Auston pulls his wrists down but the cuffs stop him almost straight away.

 

“Is that okay, doesn't hurt?”

“It's good Mitch.”

 

Mitch nods before stilling completely. He reaches a hand out and squeezes Auston's shoulder.

 

“Check-in?”

“Green. Soooo green.”

 

Auston looks Mitch right in the eye. He is so sure about this, about Mitch, he is so ready. And he knows this is a big deal for Mitch too but he just can't imagine this not being good.

 

Mitch seems satisfied and moves himself off Auston and the bed completely.

 

“Spread your legs.”

 

Auston does so shamelessly letting Mitch look down the length of him. He is fully hard now and practically aching to be touched. Mitch doesn't move though. He just looks. For too long Mitch doesn't initiate anything and Auston thinks he's going to go insane if Mitch doesn't do something right now. Whatever Mitch is waiting for must pass because suddenly he's all movement, crawling up from the base of the bed to settle on his knees between Auston's thighs. He strokes his hands gently up and down the soft skin of Auston's thighs occasionally letting his blunt nails scrape slightly.

 

Auston's breathing is short and he bites his lips to hold in another whine.

 

“I want to hear you.”

 

Mitch's hands move up over his hip bones and start stroking down his abs. Auston can't help but tense up and Mitch traces the cut of his muscles leaning down to lick the path traced by his fingers. He continues to run his fingers further up, taking good care to keep his body propped up and away from giving Auston any attention where he really wants it. He strokes around the sensitive skin of Auston's nipple before taking the other into his mouth and sucking hard. Auston can't help or control the moan he lets out bucking his hips up trying desperately to get the friction he needs.

 

Mitch kisses a path up his chest, his collar bone, his neck before nibbling on his ear lobe and whispering into his ear softly,

 

“God Matts, you have no idea how sinfully good you look cuffed to my bed. You sound so good moaning for me. I can't wait to suck your cock you're going to feel so good I promise.”

 

He presses a quick and dirty kiss against Auston's lips thrusting his tongue against Auston's before pulling back and staring Auston in the eye. Mitch's pupils are blown out with desire and it's a heady feeling knowing that it's because of him.

 

Mitch crawls back down the bed pressing kisses to every inch of his body as he goes until he ghosts past his dick and presses soft, slow, sucking kisses to the inside of his thighs that are sure to leave marks. Auston's breathing is coming in quick, wet pants moaning and whining in a way he is sure he should be ashamed of. But he feels only the peace of surrendering his control to Mitch even if Mitch seems determined to tease him into begging. Maybe that's what Mitch wants, what he needs.

 

“Please, Mitch... just”

 

Mitch stops and pops his head up. He reaches up and squeezes Auston's shoulder.

 

“Check-in?”

“Green, god Mitch, green. I just need more, please.”

 

Auston opens his eyes to catch Mitch's hungry gaze. He bites his lip and his eyes roll back. He feels the heat of Mitch's predatory look. Mitch wants him. Mitch likes this and Auston can't imagine feeling any better. Until that is Mitch drops a hand to stroke up the length of Auston's dick keeping his eyes locked on Auston's watching his reaction.

 

After barely a second Mitch lifts his hand off of him and Auston groans in protest but Mitch has a plan. He drops back down Auston's body and runs his nails bluntly over Auston's side whilst lightly trailing his tongue up the length of him. Auston almost shouts when Mitch goes from light touches to sucking the head of his dick sharply into his mouth. He arches himself up off the bed and Mitch must have known it would happen because he pulls back and taps lightly at Auston's thighs.

 

“Sorry, shit sorry, Mitch, I...”

 

Mitch pats again at his thighs and applies some more pressure to Auston's hips.

 

“I've got you Matts.”

 

Mitch goes straight back to sucking his dick into his mouth sealing his lips around him and laving his tongue over the underside of his dick. Auston is panting heavily barely able to string a thought together. Mitch pulls back circling his tongue around the head of his dick whilst jacking the rest with his fist. He moves his mouth back down onto Auston's dick and begins to pick up the pace bobbing his head and keeping the suction tight. It's all Auston can do to keep his hips on the bed pulling at the restraints and pushing his head back against the pillow. He feels all of a sudden right on the very edge his breathing ragged and his balls tightening before Mitch pulls off completely and sits back on his heels.

 

Auston whines shamelessly. He's not going to be able to take this. He's not going to be able to hold back.

 

Mitch puts a hand flat against Auston's stomach and he naturally tenses. Mitch strokes him slowly and Auston feels his breathing begin to slow and his muscles release their tension. He feels floaty like the edges of subspace are approaching but not like he's going completely under. Mitch settles his hands on Auston's thighs. He concentrates on the feeling of Mitch's hands connecting them, grounding him. He breathes deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth.

 

“Good. Matts, Auston, man, you're doing so well. I'm so proud of you.”

 

Auston moans, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. Mitch starts to move his hands slowly up and down, stroking Auston's thighs lightly. He leans in and kisses Auston's stomach dipping his tongue into the cut of his hip and following it down to where Auston really wants him. He curls his hand loosely around the base of Auston's dick and slowly swirls his tongue around the head. He squeezes his hand tighter and begins to jack him off sucking the head of Auston's dick into his mouth all sloppy and wet and perfect. Auston suddenly right there and groans deeply tensing his thighs and... Mitch pulls off again and Auston pants weakly.

 

“You look so amazing Matts. You're so good. So good for me.”

 

Mitch whispers words of praise as Auston tries to calm his breathing. The sooner he calms himself down the sooner he can cum. Mitch strokes his thighs again and Auston breathes deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth. In through the nose out through the mouth.

 

“So good.”

 

Mitch keeps working him up to the edge quicker and quicker and pulling him back down again with calm and steady touches. He gives in to the pure sensation of being so close to falling over the edge but allowing Mitch to hold him back every time. Letting Mitch control him and his pleasure, letting Mitch dictate the pace and know just when to pull him back and how to calm him down until he's ready to build it back up again. He loses count of how many times he reaches the edge and how many times he comes back.

 

Auston almost feels like he's never going to cum he's just going to pass out from the pleasure.

 

“Matts, you're doing so well for me, I'm going to let you cum this time okay? Just relax.”

 

Auston lets out a shaky sigh barely able to summon a sound. He's so ready. Mitch has got this.

 

Mitch takes him back into his mouth sucking tightly and bobbing his head down and up tracing a vein with his tongue. He takes Auston deep into his mouth. He doesn't stop, he takes a deep breath through his nose, relaxes his throat and swallows Auston into his throat. He grips Auston's hips tightly holding himself down with his nose pushed into Auston's skin. His throat convulses around Auston's sensitive dick and it's all too much all of a sudden and Auston's cums with a shout pushing his hips against Mitch's hold.

 

He flops back breathing heavily and letting the fog take over. He's minimally aware of Mitch kneeling up, straddling Auston's hips, shoving his boxers down and jerking himself furiously. It's a heady feeling that Mitch takes barely any time before he cums across Auston's chest and abs. He pitches forward onto all fours over Auston panting heavily. He presses a kiss to the hinge of Auston's jaw pulling his ear lobe in between his teeth and swiping away a hint of wetness from Auston's cheek.

 

“So good, Auston. You were so good for me.”

 

He reaches forward and undoes the clasp of the cuffs releasing Auston's wrist. He pulls the cuffs off entirely and rubs the skin of Auston's wrists. He manhandles Auston pulling his arms down and massaging his biceps and shoulders. Auston goes pliantly wherever Mitch pushes him his eyes hooded and his breath still ragged but slow. Mitch curls himself up behind Auston wrapping his arm tightly around his stomach rubbing his cum into Auston's skin.

 

“Shhh, we'll sleep now and eat after.”

 

Auston pushes himself backwards into the warmth of Mitch's body. He sighs gently and tips his head back onto Mitch's shoulder. He turns his nose into his neck, breathes deeply and passes out.

 

He comes to with Mitch stroking his chest and whispering inaudibly into his ear. He wriggles in Mitch's embrace and sighs contentedly snuggling in closer.

 

“Hey.”

 

Mitch says softly squeezing him tighter.

 

“You okay?”

 

Auston nods turning himself in Mitch's arms and pushing his face further into Mitch's neck pressing his lips into the warmth of the skin.

 

“I'm good. So good.”

“It was good for you?”

“Are you kidding Mitch, it was incredible.”

 

Mitch practically purrs and kisses the top of Auston's head.

 

“We should get up.”

“Mmm, let's just stay here for a bit. Like this.”

  
Auston feels Mitch's laugh shake his entire body and he frowns up at him, pouting _slightly_ which only serves to make Mitch laugh more.

 

“Fine. We'll get up.”

 

Auston rolls over and off the side of the bed pushing himself up. He raises an eyebrow at Mitch laying sprawled across the bed shamelessly admiring the bruises on Auston's hips and thighs, the nail marks on his sides and the dried cum on his chest.

 

“You going to help me clean up?”

 

Mitch nods eagerly and jumps out of bed. He leads Auston by hand into the shower and crowds in alongside him. He soaps him up and rinses him off taking care to stroke his wrists, his hips and his shoulders. Once they're out of the shower Mitch wraps a fluffy white bath sheet around him and dries him down. He passes him a pair of plaid sleep pants and a Marner t-shirt. Auston follows him out into the kitchen and Mitch hands him a bottle of gatorade and a blueberry muffin. Auston tucks himself into the corner of the couch and nibbles at the muffin smiling up at Mitch. He is still a little fuzzy around the edges, happy and sated and _good._ Mitch moves over to the couch as well and sits down next to him ripping open a bag of skittles.

 

“We should call Marty in a bit.”

“If we have to.”

“We should. Check in with him just so he knows everything is okay.”

“It was, then, I mean, okay for you?”

“Are you kidding? It was freaking perfect Matts.”

 

Auston can't help grinning at Mitch between bites of his muffin and reaching out to clutch at Mitch's hand. He feels great. He feels settled and centred. He feels like he could take on the world right now; score a hatty past Carey Price, fight Zdeno Chara, bring the cup back to Toronto. Anything. With Mitch by his side he's limitless.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay - I've been blocked.
> 
> This is also a bit of a short one. 
> 
> I'm going to do one more chapter then like a super fluffy epilogue I think.
> 
> Let me know if you've got ideas. Or thoughts. Or whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for characters getting outed against without their consent.
> 
> But like nothing bad happens. These boys are soft.

It's not like they're particularly trying to hide that something is going on. Not really. After all Auston is routinely naked in the locker room with this group of guys and there's no way they haven't noticed some of the marks he brings into the room. The blatant hand shaped bruises on his hips after that first night. The scratch marks he often ends up with on the shoulders, biceps and sides. The worst, and most frequent, are the hickeys that Mitch manages to put in the most random of places. The boys give him a pretty hard time the one time he turns up in the locker room with a dark hickey on his ear lobe. Mitch takes the glare Auston shoots him and giggles delightedly.

 

The thing is a little part of Auston, well maybe not that little a part, relishes the looks he gets. The approval they seem to confer because he is getting laid and the power that gives him. He likes people looking. He likes thinking they know that he is being well taken care of. He knows that Marty sees them knows the full story. That the marks are from his dom. That Mitch is giving him what he needs.

 

Mitch sees it too; how much Auston preens when the guys chirp him about the purpling bruises scattering his chest. He sees it and he gets it so Auston doesn't even have to ask for more. As he undresses before the game Auston doesn't particularly consider what, if any, left overs there are from a light session the night before. They never do anything hard core before a game. They haven't really done anything hard core at all because it's the run up to the playoffs and neither of them wants to risk that. But as he pulls off his suit pants a sudden silence drops across the locker room pierced only by a cackle from Marty and a whistle from Mitch.

 

He whips around to see everyone just stopped where they are. Naz is mid pulling up a sock and is just frozen. Mo and Gards are mid-conversation and Mo is still gesticulating and his mouth is hanging open. Willy has a hand covering his mouth with the other clasping at Kappy's arm like some sort of high schooler.

 

“What?”

“You've got a... on your...”

 

Zach swallows and shuts his mouth. Auston flushes suddenly remembering exactly _what_ they had been doing last night and where the hickey Mitch must've left would be. Shit. How exactly was he going to explain a hickey on his ass to his straight teammates. Shit.

 

“Kinky, Matts, kinky.”

 

Freddie doesn't talk much. But the normally stoic goalie just goes back to pulling his jersey over his head and it is like the locker room just collectively shrugs and goes back to what they were doing.

 

Auston had thought at the time that he'd got away with it then. But maybe it would've been better for it to come out then rather than how it does.

 

It's after a bad game.

 

It's not even playoffs so it really shouldn't affect him so much but... everything goes wrong. He can't seem to control the puck for shit and his shots just keep getting blocked. He can feel it start to itch under his skin. They've been so busy lately the fixtures piling up this deep into the season and what with the massive roadie they've just come off it's been a while since Mitch has been able to put him down properly. Mitch takes a hit. It's not a particularly bad one but he takes a moment to get up and Auston feels sick.

 

He's shaking.

 

Shit.

 

He keeps losing focus feeling that floaty feeling trying to grab him. He has to blink and pinch himself to try and keep it together. He shakes his head trying to force his head to clear. Mo must see him because he reaches out a hand to clap on Auston's shoulder. It's not aggressive or really a particularly dominant gesture but Auston recoils sharply his instincts forcing him as far away from the touch as possible. He can't look back at Mo and see his reaction. He just rocks himself forward on the bench looking at his knees until coach tells him it's his turn.

 

And he keeps going.

 

He is still playing like shit but it's like he's skating through mud.

 

He just wants it to be over.

 

When the horn goes at the end of the game he's exhausted. From the hockey. And from trying to hold himself together. He feels like such an idiot. He hasn't been this bad since the first time. Back when he didn't even know what was happening. He knew so much better now and he should be able to control himself better than this. He was a goddam professional hockey player and he shouldn't be letting his dynamic affect his game. He was so fucking weak. So fucking stupid.

 

So stupid.

 

How could he let this happen? How could he let himself get this deep during a game that he isn't really fully aware of his movements as he shuffles down the tunnel towards the dressing room. He can't see Mitch.

 

Suddenly it's like a burning hole in his chest. He needs Mitch. Mitch will know what to do. Mitch can help him. Mitch can _fix_ him. Mitch always makes it better. Mitch. Mitch. Mitch.

 

It's like a chant in his head as he makes his way into the locker room and by instinct more than anything finds his locker and begins to strip away the bulky gear as Babs gives some talk about disappointment and not being that team. Auston isn't listening. Mitch isn't there. Mitch is talking to the media while Auston showers. He should wait until they get back home. He knows that. But he _can't_.

 

He exits the showers and keeps his head down as he focuses just on putting one foot in front of another to cross the dressing room to get to his stall. He must look like an idiot. He _is_ an idiot. So stupid. He pulls on his boxers and his suit trousers. But he stops after that. Just sitting in his stall rocking slightly. Everyone is giving him space after his freakout on the bench. The media finally leave the locker room and Auston can't stand the itch any longer.

 

It's like a burst of energy when Auston finally sees Mitch sat alone in his stall. He pushes himself up and strides across the room. He might push Naz out the way but he barely notices. He needs to get to Mitch. Mitch will fix him. Mitch will know.

 

Mitch looks up and catches his eye just as Auston reaches him and his eyes go wide in something that is probably shock or panic but Auston barely even parses it. It's happening. He folds himself onto his knees pushing Mitch's knees apart and burying his face in the soft, bare skin of Mitch's inner thigh. He feels Mitch's hand push into his hair softly scratching at his scalp and he makes a soft soothing noise before he's out.

 

He comes back to his senses slowly feeling the soothing touch of Mitch's fingertips still brushing through his hair. His eyes are still closed but he can hear the hushed chatter of the locker room. He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes raising them to look at Mitch. Mitch smiles softly and puts his palm on Auston's jaw brushing his thumb across his cheekbone.

 

“Hey sweetheart, are you okay now?”

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean...”

“It's okay baby, I should've been better for you. But everything's going to be okay.”

 

Auston nods slightly and sits back on his heels which has the bad side effect of taking him away from Mitch's touch but enables him to turn slightly and face the room. He drags his lip between his teeth and looks up at the guys.

 

Shit.

 

They know. They all know.

 

Fuck.

 

It is done now though so he'll just have to cope if they're shitty about it. He looks across at Marty in the next stall and Marty quirks an eyebrow at him concern tinged with a wry amusement. He looks back at Mitch who reaches out to squeeze his shoulder in that spot. The one he uses to check-in. Auston can't help his eyes fluttering shut. Mitch nods at him slightly and Auston turns back to the room. He's going to have to face this now.

 

“So, um, this is a like a thing, and well... you have questions?”

 

He can hear Marty fighting a laugh and Mitch pats his shoulder gently.

 

“Uh yeah, I have questions. Like what is this?”

 

Auston snorts. It would be Willy who would speak up.

 

“Mitch and I are dating. Um... dynamically.”

 

Willy nods.

 

“And you're the...”

 

Auston rolls his eyes.

 

“Obviously.”

 

Willy bristles.

 

“You could've been a switch. We didn't know.”

 

Zach hits Willy on the chest lightly.

 

“Most importantly though, we really need to know when this started.”

“Why?”

 

Mo and Gards coordinate glares at Brownie who had spoken up.

 

“There may be a pool.”

“Nobody had this though.”

“I mean still counts, right?”

 

Auston shakes his head. This team are the best.

 

“Urgh, like I don't know when you're measuring it from?”

 

Marty leans forward.

 

“From the confirmation.”

“Oh well, like two months then.”

 

There's a collective groan from around the locker room and several balled up socks are thrown at Auston.

 

“Fucking, Naz won the pot.”

 

Naz is smirking.

 

“Thanks boys.”

 

Auston shakes his head but just sits back in between Mitch's thighs and lets him resume stroking his hair. He guesses that there are some perks to the boys knowing.

 

“Not to be rude but you're both registered wrong with the league.”

 

Obviously it would be Mo to go all captain on them. Even without the letter he is the team dad.

 

“Mine was a mistake.”

“I lied so that I would go first.”

“That's fucked up.”

  
Auston just shrugs.

 

“That's just the way it is. Worked out in the end.”

 

Mitch gives the full TM grin and tightens his thighs slightly around Auston's shoulders.

 

“You could've ended up playing for Winnipeg.”

“Or Columbus.”

“Ew.”

 

Auston loves these boys.

 

“We've got to know though Matts, is Mitchy really _able_ to dom _you_?”

 

Auston can't help the growl that rumbles in his throat at Naz's words.

 

“Fuck you, he's perfect.”

 

There's a moment of shocked silence before the locker room erupts and Auston has had enough. He just turns his head, groaning and plants his forehead onto Mitch's thigh which shakes as Mitch giggles.

 

He's is going to get chirped into the next century.

 

Fuck.

 


End file.
